In last night's episode of Supergirl, there was a scene where Supergirl (without her powers) gets a robber to put down the gun by telling him that he needs to choose to be a better man. It is human to be selfish and step on others not caring about each others feelings in order to get what we want (Cat Grant), however we can choose who we are.
How true this is! Individually we have the power to choose to do good and be a positive influence instead of someone who winds up in jail. Let's put down the gun and do the best we can for ourselves, family and friends the right way.
Tuesday, December 8, 2015
Saturday, December 5, 2015
DEAF CAN!!
Some of you may already know and be celebrating, however for those who are unaware Nyle DiMarco won America's Next Top Model this past Friday. The reason why this has got me all excited is because not only is he a gorgeous model, but he is also Deaf first.
Sadly, many people believe that the Deaf are stupid, can't do much on their own, can't drive, can't......and the list goes on all involving pity. We are not sorry to be Deaf, in fact we feel the opposite. We embrace it. We have our own community complete with a culture and language. Hearing people are looking at us from the outside in. It's not a bad thing to be Deaf. This fact took me a long time to realize and I'm so glad that God helped me find my niche within this unique world.
Back to Nyle, he did an amazing job and it would be like meeting my favorite celebrity if I ever got to give him a hug. So many obstacles stood before him and he knocked them all down. Similar to what President Barack Obama is for the African American community, Nyle has helped the hearing world see what DEAF CAN DO AND ACCOMPLISH! For this, I am just as proud of him as Tyra and his mama! :D
The rest of the Deaf community needs to follow suit and continue to strive for excellence at our chosen professions. Whatever you do, do your best! The world is watching.
You can watch the episodes here.
Sadly, many people believe that the Deaf are stupid, can't do much on their own, can't drive, can't......and the list goes on all involving pity. We are not sorry to be Deaf, in fact we feel the opposite. We embrace it. We have our own community complete with a culture and language. Hearing people are looking at us from the outside in. It's not a bad thing to be Deaf. This fact took me a long time to realize and I'm so glad that God helped me find my niche within this unique world.
Back to Nyle, he did an amazing job and it would be like meeting my favorite celebrity if I ever got to give him a hug. So many obstacles stood before him and he knocked them all down. Similar to what President Barack Obama is for the African American community, Nyle has helped the hearing world see what DEAF CAN DO AND ACCOMPLISH! For this, I am just as proud of him as Tyra and his mama! :D
The rest of the Deaf community needs to follow suit and continue to strive for excellence at our chosen professions. Whatever you do, do your best! The world is watching.
You can watch the episodes here.
Monday, November 30, 2015
We Have A Situation
"Don't let a bad situation define you."
Ellie Bishop said this in an episode of NCIS and it never hurts to think about what you could learn from your situation. Whenever someone says, "Well, I grew up with an abusive father so that's why I beat up on people." NO! I realize that our parents' "sins" can very often follow the child like a dark cloud, but it's up to us as individuals to change the narrative. I hate it when my dad yells at me (which is far between but it happens) because of that I do my ultimate best not to yell at anyone because I know what it's like being on the other side of that. So for others to say that their parents do it so it's ok for them is NOT OK!
The point Ellie and I are trying to make is that there will be bad situations but we need to overcome them and be who we are called to be. I'm not going to let anyone change me and sadly it took me awhile to realize that. I struggled with who I was because I was trying to be everyone else but me. I didn't stop trying to hide myself till halfway through high school when I noticed that no matter how hard I tried, many didn't want anything to do with me. (Even more depressing, when I finally was myself they still didn't like me). So the lesson I learned there was that if people don't like you for who you are, they aren't worth smack. Leave them and that's what I did.
I want to encourage you all reading this to let go of bad situations and focus on the positives. Be yourself. Be compassionate. Be loving. Be funny. Don't let those bullies, your parents, your "friends" or your bf/gf hold you back. I remember being the person who's self confidence came from how many people came to my birthday party. It's stupid. Growing up, I've had MANY MANY MANY bad situations between being an African American and having a disability, it's been rough. However, through many awesome people that have graced my presence helped me embrace what I'm talented at and encouraged me to keep at it no matter what. I will always be grateful for them and look forward to many more years with them.
Ellie Bishop said this in an episode of NCIS and it never hurts to think about what you could learn from your situation. Whenever someone says, "Well, I grew up with an abusive father so that's why I beat up on people." NO! I realize that our parents' "sins" can very often follow the child like a dark cloud, but it's up to us as individuals to change the narrative. I hate it when my dad yells at me (which is far between but it happens) because of that I do my ultimate best not to yell at anyone because I know what it's like being on the other side of that. So for others to say that their parents do it so it's ok for them is NOT OK!
The point Ellie and I are trying to make is that there will be bad situations but we need to overcome them and be who we are called to be. I'm not going to let anyone change me and sadly it took me awhile to realize that. I struggled with who I was because I was trying to be everyone else but me. I didn't stop trying to hide myself till halfway through high school when I noticed that no matter how hard I tried, many didn't want anything to do with me. (Even more depressing, when I finally was myself they still didn't like me). So the lesson I learned there was that if people don't like you for who you are, they aren't worth smack. Leave them and that's what I did.
I want to encourage you all reading this to let go of bad situations and focus on the positives. Be yourself. Be compassionate. Be loving. Be funny. Don't let those bullies, your parents, your "friends" or your bf/gf hold you back. I remember being the person who's self confidence came from how many people came to my birthday party. It's stupid. Growing up, I've had MANY MANY MANY bad situations between being an African American and having a disability, it's been rough. However, through many awesome people that have graced my presence helped me embrace what I'm talented at and encouraged me to keep at it no matter what. I will always be grateful for them and look forward to many more years with them.
Thursday, November 26, 2015
Running Scared
People all over social media are slamming governors and individuals for taking a stand against the U.S taking in Syrian refugees. While I can understand why we shouldn't turn people away who need help, the basis for our fear isn't unfounded. I can see why many are scared and I myself am a little apprehensive about it all because how easy we will make it for those with ulterior motives to come inside our borders. Will we only accept orphans and women? Are we safeguarding ourselves while helping others? There's a lot to think about when the U.S is the target of many malicious groups. There are people who will take advantage of our country's kindness. It could be many Americans are afraid that these refugees are a part of a terrorist cell or maybe someone will pose as a refugee in order to gain access into this country. (Middle Eastern countries have used children as soldiers.)
If we take this situation in simple terms and ask, "Should I help my friend who has had a history of violence towards other people? or "Should I help my friend who has friends who have hurt me before?" While many will ask right back, "What would Jesus do?" I think we as humans should also safeguard our hearts.I do think that Jesus would help this friend as well as the refugees from Syria. He helped the lepers, the children, the lame, the weak, the blind, the sick and so on so forth. We have no idea what the future holds, but if we don't help these people without homes, who will? Will it become, "So and So will help them." Well, if everyone said that....who will actually help?
This is not easy and I wish everyone would stop and think before putting down another for their reasons as to why they don't want to help. I only hope that the U.S doesn't look back and say, "I wish we never let these people in."
Just somethings to think about. Look at it from all sides before picking a fight.
An article to read.
If we take this situation in simple terms and ask, "Should I help my friend who has had a history of violence towards other people? or "Should I help my friend who has friends who have hurt me before?" While many will ask right back, "What would Jesus do?" I think we as humans should also safeguard our hearts.I do think that Jesus would help this friend as well as the refugees from Syria. He helped the lepers, the children, the lame, the weak, the blind, the sick and so on so forth. We have no idea what the future holds, but if we don't help these people without homes, who will? Will it become, "So and So will help them." Well, if everyone said that....who will actually help?
This is not easy and I wish everyone would stop and think before putting down another for their reasons as to why they don't want to help. I only hope that the U.S doesn't look back and say, "I wish we never let these people in."
Just somethings to think about. Look at it from all sides before picking a fight.
An article to read.
Monday, November 23, 2015
What Death Can Do
I don't know if you've noticed but when someone dies, especially someone close to you, one tends to take a step back and look at their life and I mean really take a close look at it.
Last week, I watched an episode of Nashville where Juliet drunk/wasted/high climbed up onto the roof of her hotel. Negative thoughts were going through her mind. Her husband just gave me divorce papers, her manager said she was a "waste" and she had no friends. For those who don't know the show or the story line, Juliet is a country/pop singer who has toured all over the place. Her life is nothing close to glamorous but her paperazi and fans think so. She married Avery, a music producer, and had a child with him. Whenever she is in town, she'd rather talk to Avery than her newborn daughter. Avery, being a good father wanted her to spend time with both of them. Soon, she withdrew and changed her number without telling him. Her manager has a reputation of not caring about anyone but rather the bottom line and how his name can be heard/known. He is also has a history with Juliet that is anything but pleasant.
Fast forward to this episode, she tries to kill her self but her manager sees what she is trying to do and as he saves her, he plunges to his death. Being drunk and so out of it, she somehow gets to her room and falls asleep. When the police wake her the next morning to tell her the news, she has no idea what happened last night so she tells them she fell asleep early.
Towards the end of this episode, Juliet's mind finally pulls out the memory of what happened and she goes to a clinic to get help with her drug, alcohol and other problems she's been having but chose to ignore. It took her realizing that her horrible daily choices killed someone for her to realize she needed help. This happens all the time and I wish people would realize that they don't live in a bubble much less a vacuum. Their choices, my choices effect others. It's up to us to discern for ourselves what might the consequences be (good and bad) if we do something.
I'm happy to say that someone did see the entire thing that night and hopefully in the coming episodes, the police will find out the truth.
Last week, I watched an episode of Nashville where Juliet drunk/wasted/high climbed up onto the roof of her hotel. Negative thoughts were going through her mind. Her husband just gave me divorce papers, her manager said she was a "waste" and she had no friends. For those who don't know the show or the story line, Juliet is a country/pop singer who has toured all over the place. Her life is nothing close to glamorous but her paperazi and fans think so. She married Avery, a music producer, and had a child with him. Whenever she is in town, she'd rather talk to Avery than her newborn daughter. Avery, being a good father wanted her to spend time with both of them. Soon, she withdrew and changed her number without telling him. Her manager has a reputation of not caring about anyone but rather the bottom line and how his name can be heard/known. He is also has a history with Juliet that is anything but pleasant.
Fast forward to this episode, she tries to kill her self but her manager sees what she is trying to do and as he saves her, he plunges to his death. Being drunk and so out of it, she somehow gets to her room and falls asleep. When the police wake her the next morning to tell her the news, she has no idea what happened last night so she tells them she fell asleep early.
Towards the end of this episode, Juliet's mind finally pulls out the memory of what happened and she goes to a clinic to get help with her drug, alcohol and other problems she's been having but chose to ignore. It took her realizing that her horrible daily choices killed someone for her to realize she needed help. This happens all the time and I wish people would realize that they don't live in a bubble much less a vacuum. Their choices, my choices effect others. It's up to us to discern for ourselves what might the consequences be (good and bad) if we do something.
I'm happy to say that someone did see the entire thing that night and hopefully in the coming episodes, the police will find out the truth.
Friday, November 20, 2015
Signing on TV!
Friday, November 6, 2015
Accepting Help
Kara aka Supergirl, told James a very profound truth. "Accepting help is an honor." This is what she was taught on her home planet of Krypton. Her words got me thinking. It not only helped James in his dilemma in trying to be a man but it also helped me in my dilemmas of life.
Since graduation, I've wanted to be independent. At this point on my life, I thought I would have my own apartment and wouldn't need my Dad to cover anything or at least less than what's he's been doing. I'm tired of needing help or asking for it. However, I can't do life any kind of life on my own entirely. I still need others' help in order to further my career, become a better writer, understand new technology/computer programs and become a NY Times Bestseller. I will always need an editor.
Being a grown up "woman" post grad, accepting help isn't really a horrible thing I made it out to be. Though, I will never stop striving to be independent without someone carrying me. One of the reasons why I don't even want to think about getting married because I want to stand on my own. Forge my own path. Pay my own bills. Nothing wrong with that of course. On the other hand, I (we) need to understand that even being on our own we will encounter struggles. No one was made to live life alone. God himself specifically created Eve to be with Adam for companionship. Independence and knowing I will have someone I can lean on or go to for help should be the goal instead of solely facing the demons of life.
Someday my day will come full of friends I can relate to, a job I'm happy with in my career and bills paid in full ON MY OWN. :)
Since graduation, I've wanted to be independent. At this point on my life, I thought I would have my own apartment and wouldn't need my Dad to cover anything or at least less than what's he's been doing. I'm tired of needing help or asking for it. However, I can't do life any kind of life on my own entirely. I still need others' help in order to further my career, become a better writer, understand new technology/computer programs and become a NY Times Bestseller. I will always need an editor.
Being a grown up "woman" post grad, accepting help isn't really a horrible thing I made it out to be. Though, I will never stop striving to be independent without someone carrying me. One of the reasons why I don't even want to think about getting married because I want to stand on my own. Forge my own path. Pay my own bills. Nothing wrong with that of course. On the other hand, I (we) need to understand that even being on our own we will encounter struggles. No one was made to live life alone. God himself specifically created Eve to be with Adam for companionship. Independence and knowing I will have someone I can lean on or go to for help should be the goal instead of solely facing the demons of life.
Someday my day will come full of friends I can relate to, a job I'm happy with in my career and bills paid in full ON MY OWN. :)
Thursday, October 29, 2015
Supergirl
The "most awaited new show this year" finally came this past Monday. It certainly lived up to the hype in my opinion. Kara, the main character, tries to act normal even though she knows she's far from it. (I'm insanely jealous that her alien DNA helps her not to have pimples.) When faced with a serious decision, she decides in the moment to use everything in her power to save her sister on a plane headed towards Geneva. Without her help, the plane would have crashed and those on board would have been killed. However, instead of being happy her sister asks, "What were you thinking?" Now on the adult side of this exchange, I can see why that question should be asked. Kara could have been killed since she had no idea what she was doing. At the same time, she just saved lives including the sister's.
For most of her life, Kara has tried to run from being a hero (different) but now she wants to embrace it and doesn't want to stop. This parallels my life growing up with a hearing loss. There are times when I still hide it but now that I've embraced my deafness and have found those who love that part about me, I'm glad I was made this way. Because I decided to truly be who I am, I have found such amazing friends and have fallen head over heels in love with American Sign Language. All of this made me who I am.
We all should stop hiding our true selves and not be afraid of how people perceive us in our individuality. Be who you are. From what I've seen in the first episode, it sounds like Kara won't stop embracing who she is instead of hiding in an office filling coffee and lunch orders. :)
For most of her life, Kara has tried to run from being a hero (different) but now she wants to embrace it and doesn't want to stop. This parallels my life growing up with a hearing loss. There are times when I still hide it but now that I've embraced my deafness and have found those who love that part about me, I'm glad I was made this way. Because I decided to truly be who I am, I have found such amazing friends and have fallen head over heels in love with American Sign Language. All of this made me who I am.
We all should stop hiding our true selves and not be afraid of how people perceive us in our individuality. Be who you are. From what I've seen in the first episode, it sounds like Kara won't stop embracing who she is instead of hiding in an office filling coffee and lunch orders. :)
Monday, October 12, 2015
Rosewood
I really needed to post this because even though I'm a known cop show addict, this quote hit home and I think it's good "food for thought." However, I am behind on many shows so this quote is from last week's episode of the new show Rosewood.
For those who don't know what this show is about let me explain who Rosewood is and his "partner." Rosewood is a pathologist ( Medical Examiner) who's seriously good at his job. So good, he has billboards all over Miami and charges $7,000 per body. He's rich. He's also the kind of guy a girl would love to hate. He's annoying, but cute. He's always right and it nearly kills his partner to admit it every time. You know those types? Rosewood is a smart guy, but hides his illness to the point where he tries to cure himself. He has a heart condition and nerves in his hand that don't behave. He's constantly taking medicine and testing his blood. It's only a matter of time before he can't do anything to stop or even slow down the brokenness in his body.
Anyways, here is the quote that really got me thinking, "The list of things I can't do is a mile long, however the list of things I can do is a mile longer. And it's my job to never forget that."
There are quite of few things I can't do, but I don't let it deter me from chasing after things I can do. If I listened to all the people who told me I can't and just admitted defeat, I hardly doubt that I would be a college graduate. If Rosewood listened to the people who told him he can't do thins or that, I highly doubt he'd be a rich pathologist.
Get rid of the word 'can't' and replace it with 'can'.
For those who don't know what this show is about let me explain who Rosewood is and his "partner." Rosewood is a pathologist ( Medical Examiner) who's seriously good at his job. So good, he has billboards all over Miami and charges $7,000 per body. He's rich. He's also the kind of guy a girl would love to hate. He's annoying, but cute. He's always right and it nearly kills his partner to admit it every time. You know those types? Rosewood is a smart guy, but hides his illness to the point where he tries to cure himself. He has a heart condition and nerves in his hand that don't behave. He's constantly taking medicine and testing his blood. It's only a matter of time before he can't do anything to stop or even slow down the brokenness in his body.
Anyways, here is the quote that really got me thinking, "The list of things I can't do is a mile long, however the list of things I can do is a mile longer. And it's my job to never forget that."
There are quite of few things I can't do, but I don't let it deter me from chasing after things I can do. If I listened to all the people who told me I can't and just admitted defeat, I hardly doubt that I would be a college graduate. If Rosewood listened to the people who told him he can't do thins or that, I highly doubt he'd be a rich pathologist.
Get rid of the word 'can't' and replace it with 'can'.
Pregnancy
The whole #shoutmyabortion really is getting on my nerves because we've come so far from fundamental truths. Just because something is old fashioned, doesn't mean it's wrong or outdated. A new theory doesn't prove anything, right? Just because you call it a fetus, doesn't mean it's not living. Mr. Huxtable from the Cosby show made an excellent point when Rudy, his youngest, decided to stand on a chair and "fix" the grandfather clock. He asked her what she was doing and she explains that the clock was wrong. In her mind, the clock was wrong and her watch was right because the watch was newer. Now, we grown ups understand that just because a watch is new doesn't mean that it's right. The factory determines the time it is and it's up to you after you buy it to change it to the correct time. Little first grader Rudy, didn't know that. At the end of the conversation, Mr. Huxtable says, "Do you know that you are newer than me?.....But I run better than you." :)
Back to this abortion crisis. It just doesn't make sense that it would be ok for a woman to end her pregnancy. Just by saying that you have ended a pregnancy tells us that something had to begin, right? Basically, you are saying that these "mass of cells" had a beginning. Life. A tadpole is living, right? A cell, a single cell is living or dead, right? If one could see ultrasounds from beginning to end of any pregnancy, you'd see not only a human form but a beating heart. You see, the heart is one of the first parts of the body that is developed because as we all know, the heart is what keeps the body/child/fetus/person alive.
If the heart is beating, the "thing" is alive whether its an animal or human. Even cells have a nucleus that keeps it alive. (See, I did pay a little bit attention in high school science....). So, I'm not sure how you can justify that a human fetus isn't living. We all have cells and tissue from "fetushood" to death. Are they dead now? Are they alive? Cells that are on a slide held under a microscope. Are they dead or alive? Why?
http://scienceline.ucsb.edu/getkey.php?key=1903
Another interesting problem that has only recently come to my attention. I didn't even think about this being an issue until a CSI: Miami episode brought this up. In Florida, it's considered a double homicide when someone kills a pregnant woman......however it's not murder for a woman to kill her unborn child? Does that even make sense?!?! In Colorado, it's not considered a double homicide if someone kills a pregnant woman. I don't even have words to describe what I'm feeling.
Both of these topics deal with morals and if you don't have any, who's to say you can't or shouldn't do something? What's the point of right and wrong if you don't have a line between, right? What's the point of having morals? There's nothing wrong with having high morals, in fact, I believe that helps you stay out of trouble.
So, all of this has caused me to stop and think about not just what's wrong with this world and the majority of people in it, it seems, but also what can I do to help others see the truth. What can I do to help myself stay on the right path? People constantly fight with, "It's my body, I can do whatever I want with it!" Yes, it's your body. It's my body. I can make it go through trauma if I want. I can drive recklessly through the streets. I can throw myself out a window. I can get a tattoo causing pain and bleeding. I can also force my brain to study for the test. I can come up with cool ideas for my best friend's surprise birthday party. So many things I can do, but there are awful things and harmful things I can do too. Just because I can doesn't mean I should. I realize that getting drunk every night isn't good for my body. Abortions have harmful side effects and just like many pharmaceuticals, we tend to ignore them and focus on the positives. Is the risk worth it? Maybe. But there's always a choice. We are fortunate to live in a country where we are given so many choices. We have a choice on where to eat, what to eat, where to buy gas, what kind of car or house, what carrier for our phones, brands of clothes etc.
If I got pregnant unexpectedly, I have a choice. Some don't realize it, but we do. If I couldn't take care of little Ruthie Ruth, I could easily give her up for adoption. I know plenty of families who would love to have a child or another child. If I honestly had no extra money to take care of this child, I could still try. We may not be rich, but we'd both be alive. With help from family and friends, I could try. Killing a child, ending a pregnancy should never be an option and certainly not the only option. Everyone deserves a chance to live, everyone.
Back to this abortion crisis. It just doesn't make sense that it would be ok for a woman to end her pregnancy. Just by saying that you have ended a pregnancy tells us that something had to begin, right? Basically, you are saying that these "mass of cells" had a beginning. Life. A tadpole is living, right? A cell, a single cell is living or dead, right? If one could see ultrasounds from beginning to end of any pregnancy, you'd see not only a human form but a beating heart. You see, the heart is one of the first parts of the body that is developed because as we all know, the heart is what keeps the body/child/fetus/person alive.
If the heart is beating, the "thing" is alive whether its an animal or human. Even cells have a nucleus that keeps it alive. (See, I did pay a little bit attention in high school science....). So, I'm not sure how you can justify that a human fetus isn't living. We all have cells and tissue from "fetushood" to death. Are they dead now? Are they alive? Cells that are on a slide held under a microscope. Are they dead or alive? Why?
http://scienceline.ucsb.edu/getkey.php?key=1903
Another interesting problem that has only recently come to my attention. I didn't even think about this being an issue until a CSI: Miami episode brought this up. In Florida, it's considered a double homicide when someone kills a pregnant woman......however it's not murder for a woman to kill her unborn child? Does that even make sense?!?! In Colorado, it's not considered a double homicide if someone kills a pregnant woman. I don't even have words to describe what I'm feeling.
Both of these topics deal with morals and if you don't have any, who's to say you can't or shouldn't do something? What's the point of right and wrong if you don't have a line between, right? What's the point of having morals? There's nothing wrong with having high morals, in fact, I believe that helps you stay out of trouble.
So, all of this has caused me to stop and think about not just what's wrong with this world and the majority of people in it, it seems, but also what can I do to help others see the truth. What can I do to help myself stay on the right path? People constantly fight with, "It's my body, I can do whatever I want with it!" Yes, it's your body. It's my body. I can make it go through trauma if I want. I can drive recklessly through the streets. I can throw myself out a window. I can get a tattoo causing pain and bleeding. I can also force my brain to study for the test. I can come up with cool ideas for my best friend's surprise birthday party. So many things I can do, but there are awful things and harmful things I can do too. Just because I can doesn't mean I should. I realize that getting drunk every night isn't good for my body. Abortions have harmful side effects and just like many pharmaceuticals, we tend to ignore them and focus on the positives. Is the risk worth it? Maybe. But there's always a choice. We are fortunate to live in a country where we are given so many choices. We have a choice on where to eat, what to eat, where to buy gas, what kind of car or house, what carrier for our phones, brands of clothes etc.
If I got pregnant unexpectedly, I have a choice. Some don't realize it, but we do. If I couldn't take care of little Ruthie Ruth, I could easily give her up for adoption. I know plenty of families who would love to have a child or another child. If I honestly had no extra money to take care of this child, I could still try. We may not be rich, but we'd both be alive. With help from family and friends, I could try. Killing a child, ending a pregnancy should never be an option and certainly not the only option. Everyone deserves a chance to live, everyone.
Thursday, October 8, 2015
Don't Be a Face, Be a Force
Funny how in the span of two weeks, I've found quotes that spoke to me from the popular TV show NCIS: LA. Here is another one said by Kensi Blye, "Don't be a face, be a force." Basically, she was trying to convince her "client" be more than what she was seeing.
In the real world, how does that translate to our ordinary less than stellar lives? I believe each of us has a story. We were created for a reason, a specific reason. So for me when thinking about being a force not just a face, it means to be more than what's on the surface.
For years, I didn't let the real me surface just like Kensi's "client." (You'll see what I mean when you watch the episode). She had a dark past that she felt she needed to hide both for her safety and for her career as a model. In reality, who you are, your past included, is what makes you who you are. Without it, you'd be a weaker version of you. This wasn't easy for me by far! However, I have become a better girlfriend as well as a friend because of some of the things I went through.
Being more than just a face can be difficult especially when you've been severely hurt in the past, but it's way better than being superficial. You will never create meaning relationships that way. A force gives you the possibility of changing someone else's life as well. Being willing to put yourself out there, be in someone else's shoes, be sympathetic and empathetic can go a long way. Sometimes just sitting by the phone isn't enough, you have to physically be there, constantly offer to take their mind off the issue.
So be a force, not just a pretty face. You'll feel better and so will others around you. :)
In the real world, how does that translate to our ordinary less than stellar lives? I believe each of us has a story. We were created for a reason, a specific reason. So for me when thinking about being a force not just a face, it means to be more than what's on the surface.
For years, I didn't let the real me surface just like Kensi's "client." (You'll see what I mean when you watch the episode). She had a dark past that she felt she needed to hide both for her safety and for her career as a model. In reality, who you are, your past included, is what makes you who you are. Without it, you'd be a weaker version of you. This wasn't easy for me by far! However, I have become a better girlfriend as well as a friend because of some of the things I went through.
Being more than just a face can be difficult especially when you've been severely hurt in the past, but it's way better than being superficial. You will never create meaning relationships that way. A force gives you the possibility of changing someone else's life as well. Being willing to put yourself out there, be in someone else's shoes, be sympathetic and empathetic can go a long way. Sometimes just sitting by the phone isn't enough, you have to physically be there, constantly offer to take their mind off the issue.
So be a force, not just a pretty face. You'll feel better and so will others around you. :)
Monday, October 5, 2015
More Being, Less Doing
A quote from a recent episode of NCIS: LA really got me thinking. "More being, less doing," Sam Hanna said this to Kensi Blye. What does it mean?
For me, I instantly thought of being myself instead of forcing myself to be someone. Another way to look at it is if someone is trying to get a rise out of you or even when a friend is depressed, being is way better than doing. If you retaliate, you're going to get into trouble. If you spew whatever comes to your mind or you're constantly trying to force your friend to feel better, more often than not it won't work. So more being, less doing can do you a world of good.
Think about it.
For me, I instantly thought of being myself instead of forcing myself to be someone. Another way to look at it is if someone is trying to get a rise out of you or even when a friend is depressed, being is way better than doing. If you retaliate, you're going to get into trouble. If you spew whatever comes to your mind or you're constantly trying to force your friend to feel better, more often than not it won't work. So more being, less doing can do you a world of good.
Think about it.
Saturday, August 29, 2015
Kids
Is it my age? My face? My personality that makes people think I either have kids or want them? Well, the answer is no to both questions. A couple years ago, a mother of three rather wild kids asked me if I had kids and I shook me head. I proceeded to continue walked when she asked, "Do you want any?" A tired look crossed her face and I stifled a laugh and said, "Sorry, no thanks."
I have no idea what a mother faces with kids and I have no intention of finding out any time soon. I've babysat and worked camp jobs though out my teenager/20-something years and honestly, giving them back their parents is the GREATEST feeling ever. Seriously. Kids are only awesome for so long and after I've reached my limit....."Say goodnight, Peter Panda!"
Life the way it is for me now, I enjoy. I like not having to worry about who has my baby or do I have enough cash for the babysitter tonight? No, instead I get to go out with my friends for as long as I want, order pizza at 3am, date who I want, bring home junk food and not have to worry about child-proofing anything. THE LIFE!
If the time comes and God gives me children, I really hope me and my husband are.....sorta ready......instead of TOTALLY NOT READY! Yes, children are a blessing from the Lord, however, I do not want them. Thank you. So the next time someone asks me if I want their kids, my answer.....(in my head cause I'd never say this outloud)....I'm buying a bulldozer."
I have no idea what a mother faces with kids and I have no intention of finding out any time soon. I've babysat and worked camp jobs though out my teenager/20-something years and honestly, giving them back their parents is the GREATEST feeling ever. Seriously. Kids are only awesome for so long and after I've reached my limit....."Say goodnight, Peter Panda!"
Life the way it is for me now, I enjoy. I like not having to worry about who has my baby or do I have enough cash for the babysitter tonight? No, instead I get to go out with my friends for as long as I want, order pizza at 3am, date who I want, bring home junk food and not have to worry about child-proofing anything. THE LIFE!
If the time comes and God gives me children, I really hope me and my husband are.....sorta ready......instead of TOTALLY NOT READY! Yes, children are a blessing from the Lord, however, I do not want them. Thank you. So the next time someone asks me if I want their kids, my answer.....(in my head cause I'd never say this outloud)....I'm buying a bulldozer."
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
Rough Draft
It occurred to me, as I was viewing the majestic Rocky Mountains for the hundredth time, that if God were a human being creating all of that would have taken years. How in the world did He decide on all this? The placement of it all? The height/depth!? The colors!?!
I wonder if He had a rough draft first....?
We all know he created the mountains in a day/24 hour period. At the same time, how is that possible? We may never know......but I will continue to drink it in and be blissfully happy that I can enjoy it all :)
I wonder if He had a rough draft first....?
We all know he created the mountains in a day/24 hour period. At the same time, how is that possible? We may never know......but I will continue to drink it in and be blissfully happy that I can enjoy it all :)
Monday, June 22, 2015
Playing the Blame Game
This has been on my mind and heart for the past month or so. Social media is blowing up every two seconds about some scandal there or a conspiracy over there or a catastrophe here. A common thread I'm seeing through all this is blaming. Ever since Adam blamed Eve for his disobedience, humans have the tendency to blame each other for their actions. You know that phrase, "You reap what you sow"? Well, that statement continues to be true at every level.
1) If my boyfriend sleeps with my best friend while I'm away on vacation. Whose fault is that? Is it mine because I wasn't with my boyfriend at the time? It is right for my boyfriend to blame me for his act of defiance or whatever he chooses to call it?
2) If my husband leaves me for a prettier woman, is it my fault because I hadn't tried harder to be prettier?
3) If someone steals pharmaceuticals because the law has priced the item too high for them to be able to afford, who's fault is that?
4) If a person says, "I'm sorry, but I can't support your lifestyle/religious decision" and the person who feels wronged shoots the other person, who's at fault?
5) If a man thinks illicit thoughts about a woman because of how she is dressed, whose fault is it?
I could go on and on but I think I've touched on the most common ones I hear. We each, myself included, need to take a hard look at our actions and the motivation behind them. We as humans hate to be wrong, but sometimes we are wrong and we need to accept as well as change our attitude. Is it easy? NOPE! Will it take time? YES!
In each scenario the first person mentioned, with the exception of the last two, is the person who is wrong. In the fourth, the person who did the shooting is the one who made the wrong decision. Why? The first person has a right to an opinion. It is not right for the second person to destroy a person's life because of of it. In the fifth, it's both. Why? It's the man's duty to be mindful of what enters his mind. It's up to him not to dwell on dirty thoughts about a woman he sees. It's also the woman's duty to be mindful about what she wears. What a woman wears determines how a man treats them and also what kind of man she is trying to attract. Men are wired to desire what they see for the most part. Women are wired to desire what they feel for the most part. Each person needs to be aware of how they are perceived and dress accordingly. Otherwise, women will get attention they weren't looking for and men will fall into traps they didn't want to fall into.
Everyone is accountable for their actions. It's up to each of us to stop blaming each other and instead find ways to avoid the situation altogether. :)
1) If my boyfriend sleeps with my best friend while I'm away on vacation. Whose fault is that? Is it mine because I wasn't with my boyfriend at the time? It is right for my boyfriend to blame me for his act of defiance or whatever he chooses to call it?
2) If my husband leaves me for a prettier woman, is it my fault because I hadn't tried harder to be prettier?
3) If someone steals pharmaceuticals because the law has priced the item too high for them to be able to afford, who's fault is that?
4) If a person says, "I'm sorry, but I can't support your lifestyle/religious decision" and the person who feels wronged shoots the other person, who's at fault?
5) If a man thinks illicit thoughts about a woman because of how she is dressed, whose fault is it?
I could go on and on but I think I've touched on the most common ones I hear. We each, myself included, need to take a hard look at our actions and the motivation behind them. We as humans hate to be wrong, but sometimes we are wrong and we need to accept as well as change our attitude. Is it easy? NOPE! Will it take time? YES!
In each scenario the first person mentioned, with the exception of the last two, is the person who is wrong. In the fourth, the person who did the shooting is the one who made the wrong decision. Why? The first person has a right to an opinion. It is not right for the second person to destroy a person's life because of of it. In the fifth, it's both. Why? It's the man's duty to be mindful of what enters his mind. It's up to him not to dwell on dirty thoughts about a woman he sees. It's also the woman's duty to be mindful about what she wears. What a woman wears determines how a man treats them and also what kind of man she is trying to attract. Men are wired to desire what they see for the most part. Women are wired to desire what they feel for the most part. Each person needs to be aware of how they are perceived and dress accordingly. Otherwise, women will get attention they weren't looking for and men will fall into traps they didn't want to fall into.
Everyone is accountable for their actions. It's up to each of us to stop blaming each other and instead find ways to avoid the situation altogether. :)
Saturday, June 6, 2015
Opinions
I recently came upon a quote that embodies truth to its core and one that many seem to ignore.
"Our culture has accepted two huge lies. The first is that if you disagree with someone's lifestyle, you must fear or hate them. The second is that to love someone means you agree with everything they believe or do. Both are nonsense. You don't have to compromise convictions to be compassionate." Nor should you compromise in this instance.
Personally, this says it all. We each have opinions and just because we don't agree with someone's point of view, doesn't mean we hate them. Just like if someone doesn't think that the gay/transgender lifestyle is ok or right doesn't mean they are homophobic. That word seems to be thrown everywhere like the word racist. Take a step back and really evaluate, respect and listen to another person's view point. Homophobia or any phobia means that you are scared. Some may very well be scared for various reasons, but not everyone who disagrees with this in particular is a homophobic. This is called labeling. No one likes that.
We constantly keep screaming at people who don't believe what we do and that's not right. It's ok to have a difference of opinion. It bothers me so much when people spill their frustrations onto social media about tolerance when they themselves don't tolerate anyone who doesn't agree with them. This isn't just an "American problem" it's becoming a worldwide problem. There are countries out there that say "gay marriage is wrong," this doesn't give us or anyone else for that matter license to say nasty things about them. Same goes for any other statement that someone doesn't agree with.
Just wish all of us, myself included, would take a step back and realize that another opinion is ok. No matter what it is. Life will go on.
"Our culture has accepted two huge lies. The first is that if you disagree with someone's lifestyle, you must fear or hate them. The second is that to love someone means you agree with everything they believe or do. Both are nonsense. You don't have to compromise convictions to be compassionate." Nor should you compromise in this instance.
Personally, this says it all. We each have opinions and just because we don't agree with someone's point of view, doesn't mean we hate them. Just like if someone doesn't think that the gay/transgender lifestyle is ok or right doesn't mean they are homophobic. That word seems to be thrown everywhere like the word racist. Take a step back and really evaluate, respect and listen to another person's view point. Homophobia or any phobia means that you are scared. Some may very well be scared for various reasons, but not everyone who disagrees with this in particular is a homophobic. This is called labeling. No one likes that.
We constantly keep screaming at people who don't believe what we do and that's not right. It's ok to have a difference of opinion. It bothers me so much when people spill their frustrations onto social media about tolerance when they themselves don't tolerate anyone who doesn't agree with them. This isn't just an "American problem" it's becoming a worldwide problem. There are countries out there that say "gay marriage is wrong," this doesn't give us or anyone else for that matter license to say nasty things about them. Same goes for any other statement that someone doesn't agree with.
Just wish all of us, myself included, would take a step back and realize that another opinion is ok. No matter what it is. Life will go on.
Saturday, May 30, 2015
Sacrifice
When I hear this word, "sacrifice," I think of the greatest sacrifice the world has ever known, God's Son. Honestly, I don't understand why people cringe at this word. In any relationship, you need to sacrifice something at some point in order to make the other person more comfortable or just to be there for them. God sacrificed his Son so that we would be able to have a relationship with Him. Just like He did, we humans should sacrifice things in order to have a solid relationship with a person we care about. A friendship is a two way street as is an intimate bond.
In a friendship, you might sacrifice a date night in order to lend a shoulder or ear because they are going through a hardship and need their friend. In a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, you probably will sacrifice a video game night with your buddies, ratty old t-shirt from high school or maybe a favorite food because you know the other doesn't like it. Like many things, there are instances where you shouldn't sacrifice because that would mean you have no life! Give and take is what makes a stronger bond between two people. I've experienced this first hand in many ways.
So sacrifice isn't a bad thing! It helps make you more self-less and think about the other person before yourself. The world doesn't revolve around any one person or idea. We are all different and should learn to embrace each other as well as shape each other. We were not meant to stand alone, but to be loved and be a lover. Do what makes another person happy, not just yourself. That is true sacrifice. :)
In a friendship, you might sacrifice a date night in order to lend a shoulder or ear because they are going through a hardship and need their friend. In a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, you probably will sacrifice a video game night with your buddies, ratty old t-shirt from high school or maybe a favorite food because you know the other doesn't like it. Like many things, there are instances where you shouldn't sacrifice because that would mean you have no life! Give and take is what makes a stronger bond between two people. I've experienced this first hand in many ways.
So sacrifice isn't a bad thing! It helps make you more self-less and think about the other person before yourself. The world doesn't revolve around any one person or idea. We are all different and should learn to embrace each other as well as shape each other. We were not meant to stand alone, but to be loved and be a lover. Do what makes another person happy, not just yourself. That is true sacrifice. :)
Sunday, May 24, 2015
What Is It About the Word 'Respect'?
Almost everywhere I go, I see the lack of respect in kids as well as adults. We all demand respect for ourselves yet very rarely do we understand how to respect others. Honestly, the world is going downhill fast if we don't do something about this concept.
What is respect? According to dictionary.com, there are many definitions for this word so I will just point out a couple.
1) esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability:
2) deference to a right, privilege, privileged position, or someone or something considered to have certain rights or privileges; proper acceptance or courtesy; acknowledgment:
Regardless of your race, occupation, tastes, religion etc we should all learn how to truly respect each other's differences. God made us unique therefore, we are going to disagree on things or simply just not like something. Do we have to bash each other for those differences? NO! We state our opinion on a matter respectfully and hear what the other person has to say.
What I see happen quite often is this...Sam says, "I think that smoking is bad for you because it damages your lungs and causes cancer." James says, "How dare you accuse me of being wrong! I can do whatever I want whenever I want!" Sam says, "If you look at the facts..." "You're stupid!" "Well, you're the one who's too stupid to know the truth when it's right in front of you!" and so on. Is this showing respect to either person? Nope. Now, Sam tried to just state facts but unfortunately he let his emotions get the better of him.
Sometimes we become stubborn in our way of thinking and push ideas on other people. It's ok to have a difference in opinion on how the welfare system works, whether or not we should have a law against abortion or when is it ok to spank a child. The problem occurs when we ostracize each other based on our opinion or ridicule others because they hold an opinion you strongly disagree with. THAT IS NOT RESPECT.
Thank God we still live in a country where we have freedom of speech, freedom of religion etc. Frustration overwhelms me when I see hurtful conversations on social media or hear people talk about someone else and their "opposite" opinion in a bullying kind of way. I do my best to respect others lack of faith, what I would deem "wrong" choices etc. but I can be just as wrong as the person next door. The difference between them and me is my choice to show respect even if I wholeheartedly don't agree.
See where that gets you.
What is respect? According to dictionary.com, there are many definitions for this word so I will just point out a couple.
1) esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability:
2) deference to a right, privilege, privileged position, or someone or something considered to have certain rights or privileges; proper acceptance or courtesy; acknowledgment:
Regardless of your race, occupation, tastes, religion etc we should all learn how to truly respect each other's differences. God made us unique therefore, we are going to disagree on things or simply just not like something. Do we have to bash each other for those differences? NO! We state our opinion on a matter respectfully and hear what the other person has to say.
What I see happen quite often is this...Sam says, "I think that smoking is bad for you because it damages your lungs and causes cancer." James says, "How dare you accuse me of being wrong! I can do whatever I want whenever I want!" Sam says, "If you look at the facts..." "You're stupid!" "Well, you're the one who's too stupid to know the truth when it's right in front of you!" and so on. Is this showing respect to either person? Nope. Now, Sam tried to just state facts but unfortunately he let his emotions get the better of him.
Sometimes we become stubborn in our way of thinking and push ideas on other people. It's ok to have a difference in opinion on how the welfare system works, whether or not we should have a law against abortion or when is it ok to spank a child. The problem occurs when we ostracize each other based on our opinion or ridicule others because they hold an opinion you strongly disagree with. THAT IS NOT RESPECT.
Thank God we still live in a country where we have freedom of speech, freedom of religion etc. Frustration overwhelms me when I see hurtful conversations on social media or hear people talk about someone else and their "opposite" opinion in a bullying kind of way. I do my best to respect others lack of faith, what I would deem "wrong" choices etc. but I can be just as wrong as the person next door. The difference between them and me is my choice to show respect even if I wholeheartedly don't agree.
See where that gets you.
Saturday, May 2, 2015
What If
Here's a thought provoking question....
What if every time we said or did something we first took a moment to think about how we would feel if someone else said or did that to us?
Personally, I think just by doing something simple like this would prevent so many issues down the road. To go even further, it might just solve a quarter of America's social issues right now.
People have a habit of "shooting first and asking questions later." I'm guilty of this too. Just recently, I accused a close friend of mine of something he didn't do. After I told him about my perception on the incident and he explained his actions, I realized I assumed by putting pieces together that didn't belong. I'm glad I didn't come on to hard on him and lead the discussion with, "What did my face tell you after you did such and such?" instead of leading with "I can't believe you did that! That was wrong!" It made such a difference on how I carried myself and how I calmly (this was hard) explained how I perceived the situation.
I see the wrong way to approach someone so often both on TV and real life. I tend to scream inwardly at the person and say "Let him explain!" Granted, there are times when giving someone the benefit of the doubt is the wrong thing to do especially if they have a proven track record of lying. But giving the other person a chance to say their piece shouldn't be taken away from them. Maybe they know they were wrong and want to say an apology. Maybe you missed something in their body language or words that would have prevented you from getting angry in the first place if you had caught it. Or maybe they are going through something hard personally and need a friend.
As a rule of thumb in my life, I don't yell and scream. I take the time to calm down and think about what I want/need to say. Sometimes, it takes a long time but if I force myself to gather the courage to say it, I will. Very often what needs to be said is hard to say.
So in conclusion, I hope this post helps you think about how you interact with friends, family and even perfect strangers.
What if every time we said or did something we first took a moment to think about how we would feel if someone else said or did that to us?
Personally, I think just by doing something simple like this would prevent so many issues down the road. To go even further, it might just solve a quarter of America's social issues right now.
People have a habit of "shooting first and asking questions later." I'm guilty of this too. Just recently, I accused a close friend of mine of something he didn't do. After I told him about my perception on the incident and he explained his actions, I realized I assumed by putting pieces together that didn't belong. I'm glad I didn't come on to hard on him and lead the discussion with, "What did my face tell you after you did such and such?" instead of leading with "I can't believe you did that! That was wrong!" It made such a difference on how I carried myself and how I calmly (this was hard) explained how I perceived the situation.
I see the wrong way to approach someone so often both on TV and real life. I tend to scream inwardly at the person and say "Let him explain!" Granted, there are times when giving someone the benefit of the doubt is the wrong thing to do especially if they have a proven track record of lying. But giving the other person a chance to say their piece shouldn't be taken away from them. Maybe they know they were wrong and want to say an apology. Maybe you missed something in their body language or words that would have prevented you from getting angry in the first place if you had caught it. Or maybe they are going through something hard personally and need a friend.
As a rule of thumb in my life, I don't yell and scream. I take the time to calm down and think about what I want/need to say. Sometimes, it takes a long time but if I force myself to gather the courage to say it, I will. Very often what needs to be said is hard to say.
So in conclusion, I hope this post helps you think about how you interact with friends, family and even perfect strangers.
Monday, April 27, 2015
Help
For the longest time, I felt that by asking for help that meant you were admitting defeat. It wasn't until much later in life where I realized that was the wrong philosophy to have.
"Having someone help you doesn't mean that you've failed. It just means that you're not in it alone."
I saw this one day and I'm not altogether sure where, but it changed my life. I finally came face to face with my fear. I didn't want to fail so therefore I never asked for help. I wanted to do it on my own. I wanted to be independent, not lean on anyone else or depend on someone. Then I realized that getting help doesn't mean that you're a failure. There will be people who know more than me and it's ok to ask them for assistance.
I've always felt like I needed to prove myself to someone whether it was a teacher, a classmate or my parents. Still do sometimes. I don't like feeling like I can't do something on my own. I've heard those words, "You can't" too many times and it stings. That phrase made me fight harder and be the best student I could be at everything. Math unfortunately, I had to accept that I just wasn't good at it. I still have to write down figures in order to come up with a correct answer. Never liked it when someone was better at me at something.
God created us each differently and uniquely. That's His divine plan. If all of us were like me, an awesome writer and a terrible math grump, this world would never see spaceships or airplanes. So many careers involve math heavily, even architecture. So if I have to ask for help on a math assignment or even assistance carrying something, I'll be ok. So will you. :)
"Having someone help you doesn't mean that you've failed. It just means that you're not in it alone."
I saw this one day and I'm not altogether sure where, but it changed my life. I finally came face to face with my fear. I didn't want to fail so therefore I never asked for help. I wanted to do it on my own. I wanted to be independent, not lean on anyone else or depend on someone. Then I realized that getting help doesn't mean that you're a failure. There will be people who know more than me and it's ok to ask them for assistance.
I've always felt like I needed to prove myself to someone whether it was a teacher, a classmate or my parents. Still do sometimes. I don't like feeling like I can't do something on my own. I've heard those words, "You can't" too many times and it stings. That phrase made me fight harder and be the best student I could be at everything. Math unfortunately, I had to accept that I just wasn't good at it. I still have to write down figures in order to come up with a correct answer. Never liked it when someone was better at me at something.
God created us each differently and uniquely. That's His divine plan. If all of us were like me, an awesome writer and a terrible math grump, this world would never see spaceships or airplanes. So many careers involve math heavily, even architecture. So if I have to ask for help on a math assignment or even assistance carrying something, I'll be ok. So will you. :)
Thursday, April 9, 2015
The "Hitler Effect"
The "Hitler Effect" is my own name for what I'm about to explain, if you want to call it something else that's totally up to you. This post is in no way designed to be hateful or force you to hold my views. This is only my opinion based on conversations I've heard and people I've met.
_______________________________________________________________________________
It makes me sad when I see people denounce their faith, religion, heritage etc based on someone'e radical view or their pushy attitude. One person I know said they didn't even want anything to do with their previous faith because of someone who gave that faith a bad rep. Now, I can understand why this person is upset, but at the same time it's not a reason to stop believing in the god you do. Just because ONE person decided to do things their own way, does't mean you should stop doing or believing in what you do. Inevitably, this is why I call it the "Hitler Effect." He let ONE Jewish person decide the fate of EVERY single Jew. Just like you shouldn't say all whites like mayo or all Asians like pandas. It's a generalization that doesn't mean every one in that race likes one particular thing. Not everyone in my family of African Americans likes fried chicken.
Speaking of African Americans, there are some out there that make me mad! Why? They act like what the slave masters thought we were, animals. They talk trash, they act like everything is entitled to them and they don't care about other people'e feelings. Should this mean I should not "label" myself as an African American? No! I was raised differently. I was taught to talk properly, to respect others and to treat people the same way I would want to be treated. Unfortunately, this is not common anymore. (There are white people who act like the above as well...) Sadly, it's become expected for a young black person to not graduate high school, to have three kids without being married and I could go on. Because of all this, people make the assumption that ALL of us are like this. NO! This goes along with the "Hitler Effect" because many see their black neighbors or see us walking down the street or in a grocery store and start generalizing.
Personally, I find all of these media and news pieces that talk in generalizations and/or talk about one person in a particular faith who says things puts the whole faith in a bad light, extremely annoying. To go even further, each one of us shouldn't read or watch these stories and stop doing what we know is right. I'm still going to be Ruth Jackson who is strong, independent, writer, creative, Christian, African American despite those who put my race, faith, religion, background, education-you name it-in a bad light. You should stand your ground and not let anyone else shake your core.
I hope this post gives you something deeper to think about and hopefully it helps you ask those hard questions which will turn you into a stronger better person. Don't let one person tear you down. Rise above it!
_______________________________________________________________________________
It makes me sad when I see people denounce their faith, religion, heritage etc based on someone'e radical view or their pushy attitude. One person I know said they didn't even want anything to do with their previous faith because of someone who gave that faith a bad rep. Now, I can understand why this person is upset, but at the same time it's not a reason to stop believing in the god you do. Just because ONE person decided to do things their own way, does't mean you should stop doing or believing in what you do. Inevitably, this is why I call it the "Hitler Effect." He let ONE Jewish person decide the fate of EVERY single Jew. Just like you shouldn't say all whites like mayo or all Asians like pandas. It's a generalization that doesn't mean every one in that race likes one particular thing. Not everyone in my family of African Americans likes fried chicken.
Speaking of African Americans, there are some out there that make me mad! Why? They act like what the slave masters thought we were, animals. They talk trash, they act like everything is entitled to them and they don't care about other people'e feelings. Should this mean I should not "label" myself as an African American? No! I was raised differently. I was taught to talk properly, to respect others and to treat people the same way I would want to be treated. Unfortunately, this is not common anymore. (There are white people who act like the above as well...) Sadly, it's become expected for a young black person to not graduate high school, to have three kids without being married and I could go on. Because of all this, people make the assumption that ALL of us are like this. NO! This goes along with the "Hitler Effect" because many see their black neighbors or see us walking down the street or in a grocery store and start generalizing.
Personally, I find all of these media and news pieces that talk in generalizations and/or talk about one person in a particular faith who says things puts the whole faith in a bad light, extremely annoying. To go even further, each one of us shouldn't read or watch these stories and stop doing what we know is right. I'm still going to be Ruth Jackson who is strong, independent, writer, creative, Christian, African American despite those who put my race, faith, religion, background, education-you name it-in a bad light. You should stand your ground and not let anyone else shake your core.
I hope this post gives you something deeper to think about and hopefully it helps you ask those hard questions which will turn you into a stronger better person. Don't let one person tear you down. Rise above it!
Thursday, March 19, 2015
Success
"Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm."
-Winston Churchill
I saw this on a poster on my sister's campus last year. It resonated with me for two reasons. One being that I've felt like a failure on more than one occasion and two because I've come to realize that without enthusiasm everything will feel like a fail even when it's a minor success. Most of the time, it's how you look at it, how you perceive it.
Looking at my life growing up, I had quite a few setbacks. My dream of becoming a Blue Angel failed. My first crush didn't even like me. My hearing loss made it extremely difficult to learn the "traditional" way. So called friends turned their backs on me again and again. Being a victim to bullying became a way of life. I could go on. All of those things either made me stronger or changed my life for the better. I'm not saying I love the fact that I was bullied or that my first crush didn't see me as a human being. However, I am saying that because I dealt with failure all along the way, I did my best to find a happy place. In my case, it was writing and reading. I never felt failure when doing either one of those activities. Sure there were times I had writer's block or the character in the book didn't see the gun soon enough, but I always had them to turn to when life got bad.
Being enthusiastic is hard, believe me, especially when you really don't feel like it. For instance, I hate being in front of people for any reason. In order for me to put a real smile on my face when playing in front of an audience or giving a speech, I have to really put my focus on what I'm doing, not the audience. In speech class, I loved it when we were given the freedom to give a speech on a topic we choose. I would make it a mission to talk about something I cared about i.e. animal extinction and cooking my favorite meal, Lasagna Rolls. Writing the speech was definitely more fun than giving it but I learned to put enthusiasm into it and by the time I was in the middle of it, I felt more relaxed.
What can you do the next time you encounter failure?
-Winston Churchill
I saw this on a poster on my sister's campus last year. It resonated with me for two reasons. One being that I've felt like a failure on more than one occasion and two because I've come to realize that without enthusiasm everything will feel like a fail even when it's a minor success. Most of the time, it's how you look at it, how you perceive it.
Looking at my life growing up, I had quite a few setbacks. My dream of becoming a Blue Angel failed. My first crush didn't even like me. My hearing loss made it extremely difficult to learn the "traditional" way. So called friends turned their backs on me again and again. Being a victim to bullying became a way of life. I could go on. All of those things either made me stronger or changed my life for the better. I'm not saying I love the fact that I was bullied or that my first crush didn't see me as a human being. However, I am saying that because I dealt with failure all along the way, I did my best to find a happy place. In my case, it was writing and reading. I never felt failure when doing either one of those activities. Sure there were times I had writer's block or the character in the book didn't see the gun soon enough, but I always had them to turn to when life got bad.
Being enthusiastic is hard, believe me, especially when you really don't feel like it. For instance, I hate being in front of people for any reason. In order for me to put a real smile on my face when playing in front of an audience or giving a speech, I have to really put my focus on what I'm doing, not the audience. In speech class, I loved it when we were given the freedom to give a speech on a topic we choose. I would make it a mission to talk about something I cared about i.e. animal extinction and cooking my favorite meal, Lasagna Rolls. Writing the speech was definitely more fun than giving it but I learned to put enthusiasm into it and by the time I was in the middle of it, I felt more relaxed.
What can you do the next time you encounter failure?
Friday, February 27, 2015
Friendship Has Value
The more people I let into my life as the years go by, the more I ask myself, "Why some people don't act like friendship, a real, honest friendship, has a price?" You give a little and you take a little. People I meet often don't want to give they just want to get. I don't understand that at all. There are others who, like me, give their all to the wrong people and are left wondering where they went wrong? How can you protect yourself from selfish people? You can't. Sure, there are ways to be cautious like waiting until they prove to you that they are worth your time. Who knows how long that will take, but if you're willing to take every relationship slow, it might be worth your time.
I'm writing this post because too often I get to a point in a friendship and he/she throws me off course by doing something that doesn't go with being a friend. For instance, blowing me off again and again. Or not really paying attention when I need someone to talk to. Or worse yet, yelling at me when I'm already upset. I realize people are human and I'm one of those crazy individuals who love showing love so when someone doesn't show it back, it's a slap in my face. Maybe I shouldn't "wear my heart on my sleeve" so much. Maybe I shouldn't expect someone to match my "mad nice" personality.
You know that phrase, "Your past doesn't define you." Well, in a way it does. What I mean by that is your past molds you and shapes you into who you are today. Now it is true that you shouldn't LET your past define you in such a way that you relive your past mistakes or make new ones based on your past. For instance, I was bullied all my life; 1st grade through senior year. Why? I was quiet. I was black. I was Deaf. I prefered to be left alone. I wasn't a partier. I hated crowds. I loved to read. I loved to write. I was extremely creative. There are probably other reasons that I may not have been aware of.
The difference between those years and now is that the friends I met post high school were real. They stuck with me through my lowest of lows. They know my idiosyncrasies and still love me. They know I am Deaf and they don't see me as different. They love the fact that I'm a passionate writer. This attitude made such a huge difference. I became less shy and more outgoing because I finally accepted myself for who I am. I didn't have to pretend to be someone else like I felt I had to before. Because of what I went through growing up, I'm more careful with who I let into my life. There are times when I fail myself and let my heart fly ahead of my head, but you live and learn. LEARN being the key word. In a way, that experience taught me of the value of friendship. Real friends mean a lot to me and when I find those who accept me "as is," I hold them quite tight. So if they leave or I feel disrespected by them, it's painful and I feel compelled to say something.
I say all this to say, friendship has value. I wish more people could see the importance of this. Every day, I strive to be a better friend because that's what I want above all else. :)
I'm writing this post because too often I get to a point in a friendship and he/she throws me off course by doing something that doesn't go with being a friend. For instance, blowing me off again and again. Or not really paying attention when I need someone to talk to. Or worse yet, yelling at me when I'm already upset. I realize people are human and I'm one of those crazy individuals who love showing love so when someone doesn't show it back, it's a slap in my face. Maybe I shouldn't "wear my heart on my sleeve" so much. Maybe I shouldn't expect someone to match my "mad nice" personality.
You know that phrase, "Your past doesn't define you." Well, in a way it does. What I mean by that is your past molds you and shapes you into who you are today. Now it is true that you shouldn't LET your past define you in such a way that you relive your past mistakes or make new ones based on your past. For instance, I was bullied all my life; 1st grade through senior year. Why? I was quiet. I was black. I was Deaf. I prefered to be left alone. I wasn't a partier. I hated crowds. I loved to read. I loved to write. I was extremely creative. There are probably other reasons that I may not have been aware of.
The difference between those years and now is that the friends I met post high school were real. They stuck with me through my lowest of lows. They know my idiosyncrasies and still love me. They know I am Deaf and they don't see me as different. They love the fact that I'm a passionate writer. This attitude made such a huge difference. I became less shy and more outgoing because I finally accepted myself for who I am. I didn't have to pretend to be someone else like I felt I had to before. Because of what I went through growing up, I'm more careful with who I let into my life. There are times when I fail myself and let my heart fly ahead of my head, but you live and learn. LEARN being the key word. In a way, that experience taught me of the value of friendship. Real friends mean a lot to me and when I find those who accept me "as is," I hold them quite tight. So if they leave or I feel disrespected by them, it's painful and I feel compelled to say something.
I say all this to say, friendship has value. I wish more people could see the importance of this. Every day, I strive to be a better friend because that's what I want above all else. :)
Monday, February 23, 2015
When You Love Your Body, You Have to Make Sacrifices
When Nutella enters the house, all diets go out the window. It's true. Same thing goes for a really good pizza or scrumptious home baked cupcakes. I have such a hard time saying, "NO!" I see those items of goodness and I just can't stop my arm from reaching out and bringing it to my lips to taste. Before I know it, the jar is half empty or I'm on my fifth cupcake of the night. It takes all of me not to want to scream in agony. Why do I do this to myself? I want to take care of this body I was given so why am I treating it so horribly? Why does such awesomeness have to be so unhealthy? Those nasty corporations HAVE to put junk in it!!??!
Granted, indulgences of sweets and such are ok every so often, but not binges. When you love your body, you want to take care of it. Therefore, you must make sacrifices as unhappy they may cause you to be.
Nutella, why have you done this to me?!
Thursday, February 19, 2015
"Not My Problem"
Whenever I hear this phrase, "not my problem" I immediately get upset. Why? This mentality is a problem. This gives the excuse that what someone else is going through shouldn't affect you.
When my uncle died, I needed a friend. Someone I could talk to. Someone that would just sit and be there. What I didn't need was someone to tell me that they couldn't deal with my silence anymore. My pain "wasn't their problem." Every time I hear that phrase, my heart just wants to squeeze itself until it doesn't exist.
I know what it's like to live in pain. I know what it's like to feel like no one cares you're alive. However, being a friend means taking the good with the bad. We all know life isn't a bed of roses. If anyone thinks otherwise, they are living in a dream. Doesn't matter how much faith you have. Doesn't matter how many guns you own. Having a support system means the world to an individual.
The next time someone you know is hurting, whether or not the cause is your fault, don't say that it's not your problem because in a way as a friend, it is. Be there.
<3 nbsp="">
When my uncle died, I needed a friend. Someone I could talk to. Someone that would just sit and be there. What I didn't need was someone to tell me that they couldn't deal with my silence anymore. My pain "wasn't their problem." Every time I hear that phrase, my heart just wants to squeeze itself until it doesn't exist.
I know what it's like to live in pain. I know what it's like to feel like no one cares you're alive. However, being a friend means taking the good with the bad. We all know life isn't a bed of roses. If anyone thinks otherwise, they are living in a dream. Doesn't matter how much faith you have. Doesn't matter how many guns you own. Having a support system means the world to an individual.
The next time someone you know is hurting, whether or not the cause is your fault, don't say that it's not your problem because in a way as a friend, it is. Be there.
<3 nbsp="">
Sunday, February 15, 2015
When Will They Learn
Again, someone has disrespected the Islamic faith and have gotten a firefight in response. Just months prior, a group made fun of the Islamic faith in Paris and got the same result.
Freedom of Speech does not and will not include the freedom to defame, disrespect or otherwise make fun of another person's chosen religion. Doesn't matter who you are, who you think you are or whether or not you seem to think you can get away with it. Freedom, any freedom, comes with responsibilities and consequences. Freedom to marry who we please comes with both of these things as well. If we marry the wrong person, we suffer the consequences. Freedom to start a business; if you invest the right way, you will prosper. The list can go on.
Just because you CAN or ALLOWED to do something doesn't always make it the RIGHT THING to do. Do the world a favor and stop poking fun at others who are different from you. In a nutshell, your actions are called bullying. Angering others is not nice and not just because they (Islamics) will kill you but because it simply isn't a good thing to do.
So the next time, you feel the "need" to draw a caricature or verbally defame someone for their beliefs or any other reason, DON'T.
Wednesday, February 4, 2015
Everyone has a Mother, but not everyone has a Mom
Now, it's a known fact that every person is born from a womb inside a woman, unless they are a science specimen or clone. Despite the fact that I have been blessed with both a mother and a mom, I'm still deeply saddened and have a huge heart for those girls with a single dad. There are so many things I would never discuss with my dad and would only go to my mom for help.
It's extremely helpful for a girl to have an older woman to go to for help whether it's about their growing, ever changing bodies or how to deal with the opposite sex. Gender plays a huge role in how we grow up and what we learn about our own gender and the opposite. Personally, I feel that I've learned at a slower rate in many areas about the opposite sex growing up without a brother. Now, I did have those boys and men in my life who were friends, cousins and of course my father. At the same time, I never had a close relationship with my cousins or guy friends until middle school. The more you're around certain genders, the more you learn about them, how to interact with them, how to talk to them and so on so forth.
Sure, you can read about other genders, how they act and maybe even one that lists common questions that are answered, but nothing is like having a real relationship with that person. Both Moms and Dads are important to have and I hope as our children grow up in single parent homes, that they fill the hole with someone who is willing and just as loving.
It's extremely helpful for a girl to have an older woman to go to for help whether it's about their growing, ever changing bodies or how to deal with the opposite sex. Gender plays a huge role in how we grow up and what we learn about our own gender and the opposite. Personally, I feel that I've learned at a slower rate in many areas about the opposite sex growing up without a brother. Now, I did have those boys and men in my life who were friends, cousins and of course my father. At the same time, I never had a close relationship with my cousins or guy friends until middle school. The more you're around certain genders, the more you learn about them, how to interact with them, how to talk to them and so on so forth.
Sure, you can read about other genders, how they act and maybe even one that lists common questions that are answered, but nothing is like having a real relationship with that person. Both Moms and Dads are important to have and I hope as our children grow up in single parent homes, that they fill the hole with someone who is willing and just as loving.
Monday, February 2, 2015
COMMON Courtesy Doesn't Exist
Does anyone know what common courtesy is anymore? Or do we all have our different views on what it is? Personally, these are what I believe everyone should hold as common courtesy...
1) Hold the door open for the person a couple feet behind you regardless of gender
2) If you see someone needs help carrying something, offer your assistance in some way
3) Treat others the way you want to be treated
4) When someone doesn't like something you said or did, STOP especially if he/she is a friend
5) When a friend/relative sends you a message via email, phone, social media respond as quickly as you can. Don't ignore the person for days without some sort of reply like "I will get back to you on that."
6) When a friend is in need of a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear, drop something and help her/him. You don't need to move a mountain to help a friend.
7) Respect each other's differences. If you don't agree, oh well. But don't shoot them down just so you can feel better about your stand on the matter. Or try to change their mind when it's clear they don't want to. Know when to stop.
I realize that many of us have grown up differently under different circumstances. This doesn't mean our present/future has to mirror our past. I've been blessed to grow up in a loving home, with food on the table every night and parents to come home to. Not everyone had/has that. At the same time, this is no excuse for some of us to treat others like we were treated by our drunk fathers or incompetent mothers etc. Don't let your circumstances ruin your chance at a happy life. Don't let your past ruin your present. Be the best {insert your name here} you can be. With each passing day, be nicer, be more understanding, be more loving.
Side Note: Truly loving someone doesn't mean only when it's good for you. Real love means sacrifice, commitment and understanding. Don't jump ship the first moment of trouble. Work it out. Give a little. Help each other grow and love each other more :) <3 nbsp="" p="">
1) Hold the door open for the person a couple feet behind you regardless of gender
2) If you see someone needs help carrying something, offer your assistance in some way
3) Treat others the way you want to be treated
4) When someone doesn't like something you said or did, STOP especially if he/she is a friend
5) When a friend/relative sends you a message via email, phone, social media respond as quickly as you can. Don't ignore the person for days without some sort of reply like "I will get back to you on that."
6) When a friend is in need of a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear, drop something and help her/him. You don't need to move a mountain to help a friend.
7) Respect each other's differences. If you don't agree, oh well. But don't shoot them down just so you can feel better about your stand on the matter. Or try to change their mind when it's clear they don't want to. Know when to stop.
I realize that many of us have grown up differently under different circumstances. This doesn't mean our present/future has to mirror our past. I've been blessed to grow up in a loving home, with food on the table every night and parents to come home to. Not everyone had/has that. At the same time, this is no excuse for some of us to treat others like we were treated by our drunk fathers or incompetent mothers etc. Don't let your circumstances ruin your chance at a happy life. Don't let your past ruin your present. Be the best {insert your name here} you can be. With each passing day, be nicer, be more understanding, be more loving.
Side Note: Truly loving someone doesn't mean only when it's good for you. Real love means sacrifice, commitment and understanding. Don't jump ship the first moment of trouble. Work it out. Give a little. Help each other grow and love each other more :) <3 nbsp="" p="">
Sunday, January 18, 2015
My Own Life Hack!
So on one of my favorite shows, Blue Bloods, Pop says the most astounding truth.
"Back then, Family was the original Department of Health, Education and Welfare. When that falls apart, everything goes to hell."
So much truth in that statement! If we look back on our country's history, the trouble with single parent families, children having children, people on welfare that have no business being on it, kids not understanding what respect is and a host of other issues we face today, we didn't have long ago. Why is that? Maybe it's because we had stricter rules? Maybe it's because families tried harder to stay together? Maybe it's because we weren't so worried about what everyone else thinks?
I remember a Cosby episode where a friend of Dr. Huxtable had a daughter who was into drugs. The friend asked Dr. Huxtable how come his kids weren't into that? How did he keep that away from your kids? You know what he said? "I don't know." If my parents were asked that question, they'd probably answer, "God protected them." But I think in addition to that to being the case, my sister and I knew the difference between right and wrong from an early age. We knew that if we went against that we'd not only grieve them but God himself. Now, this isn't to say we are in any way perfect. I know I'm not. I don't always stay within the lines drawn by my parents, but I do however draw my own. I'm not a whatever goes kind of girl. Personally, I believe we all need to have, at the very least, our own moral code to guide us. If we have no one to answer to or have nothing to believe in, who cares how we live our lives? To me, this is the root of our problems.
To families, stick together, love each other no matter what, take care of each other, share advice, BE THERE!
To individuals, be a friend first, share responsibilities, love each other, put someone else first, BE YOURSELF!
--The olden days were indeed better in a lot of ways.
"Back then, Family was the original Department of Health, Education and Welfare. When that falls apart, everything goes to hell."
So much truth in that statement! If we look back on our country's history, the trouble with single parent families, children having children, people on welfare that have no business being on it, kids not understanding what respect is and a host of other issues we face today, we didn't have long ago. Why is that? Maybe it's because we had stricter rules? Maybe it's because families tried harder to stay together? Maybe it's because we weren't so worried about what everyone else thinks?
I remember a Cosby episode where a friend of Dr. Huxtable had a daughter who was into drugs. The friend asked Dr. Huxtable how come his kids weren't into that? How did he keep that away from your kids? You know what he said? "I don't know." If my parents were asked that question, they'd probably answer, "God protected them." But I think in addition to that to being the case, my sister and I knew the difference between right and wrong from an early age. We knew that if we went against that we'd not only grieve them but God himself. Now, this isn't to say we are in any way perfect. I know I'm not. I don't always stay within the lines drawn by my parents, but I do however draw my own. I'm not a whatever goes kind of girl. Personally, I believe we all need to have, at the very least, our own moral code to guide us. If we have no one to answer to or have nothing to believe in, who cares how we live our lives? To me, this is the root of our problems.
To families, stick together, love each other no matter what, take care of each other, share advice, BE THERE!
To individuals, be a friend first, share responsibilities, love each other, put someone else first, BE YOURSELF!
--The olden days were indeed better in a lot of ways.
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