first pumpkin carving

carved my first pumpkin thurs!!! took me FOREVER. didnt realize pumpkins were so heavy. carved the top off which took an hr. then when i tried to stick my hand in to take the seeds out the hole was too small. so i had to cut the hole bigger. ugh then getting the seeds out was the messy part of it. i had a shovel so that helped alot but the job took forever. then came the carving. it was really dark out by the time i got to this part. so my friend michael had to hold a flood light over me so i could see what i was doing. considering it was my first one....came out pretty good. its now sitting in my dorm room :D

HOP

I love being involved with HOP. It is an amazng experience and Im so glad IC has something like this. Maybe I will talk up the role of being in the director of this. I dont know but ill pray about it. I cant wait till Keeley joins in January!!!!!!! I love being able to use something that I love ASL to praise Him and being glory to Him and also bless the congrgations.

Heartache

Tired of carying around burdens. I want desperatly to ditch it somewhere. Whenever I think about things that hurt me, I can feel my heart tighten so hard it hurts.

Glory to God Forever

Before the world was made

Before you spoke it to be
You were the King of Kings
Yeah you were, yeah you were
And now You’re reigning still
Enthroned above all things
Angels and saints cry out
We join them as we sing

Glory to God, Glory to God, Glory to God Forever
Glory to God, Glory to God, Glory to God Forever

Creator God You gave me breath
So I could praise Your great and matchless name
All my days, all my days
So let my whole life be a blazing offering
A life that shouts and sings
The greatness of our King

Glory to God, Glory to God, Glory to God Forever
Glory to God, Glory to God, Glory to God Forever

Take my life, and let it be
All for You and for Your glory
Take my life and let it be Yours

Take my life and let it be
All for You and for Your glory
Take my life and let it be Yours

We sing, Glory to God, Glory to God, Glory to God Forever
Glory to God, Glory to God, Glory to God Forever

Take my life, and let it be

All for You and for Your glory
Take my life and let it be Yours

Take my life and let it be
All for You and for Your glory
Take my life and let it be Yours
We sing, Glory to God, Glory to God, Glory to God Forever

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h64opCwLZCw

I want my life to be Yours. Help me to see Your will.

Drinking

Do I drink or not or just a little? I have already experienced drinking too much and do not want to go down that path again. A close Christian friend choose not to drink at all. Should I follow his lead or not? I feel like I should just be more careful how much I drink. I don't feel its wrong except that I know my parents do not like it and they think I don't drink at all. So its a bit deceiving. At this point I think I'm just not going to drink more than one cup. I already refuse to drink beer. I want to try wine though.

College Friends

I love the friends that I have made here at IC so far esp the ones I have made this semester. Ever since the Cru retreat I feel like I have better relationships horizonally. I want a relationship vertically too. I cant help but think which guy I'm supposed to be with. I like too many I think. I want to make the right choice and not just go with the first guy that asks me. My friends both guys and girls have been there for me and praying for me and Im so so thankful :) I love them all dearly. I have never felt so loved before. Ithaca College was definatly the right choice

Dedicated to my Aunt Pat

The Artist


To me the sewing machine is a machine to stay far away from but to my Aunt Pat it is a machine that enables her to create beautiful art. In her house she has an entire room set aside that she calls her “Sewing Room”. There is a narrow strip of bare dark wood floor. That is the only wood flooring one can see because the rest of the room is covered in pieces of cloth of all colors and shades. Some are plain, others have patterns and the rest have different objects printed on them like stars and flowers. No two pieces of cloth are the same.

To one side of the room is a wooden desk that holds a white sewing machine. The sewing machine is surrounded by yet more cloth and a desk lamp. When the lamp is on, it casts a glow onto the sewing machine that makes it look like it was touched by an angel.

My Aunt Pat loves to make things for her family and friends. She has made not just quilts which are her specialty but also pillowcases and blankets. Anything she makes is proudly displayed so that everyone that comes into our house can enjoy her creations too. She truly is a gifted artist. Of course she is, it runs in the family.

Boys

Someday your Prince Charming will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, & is too stubborn to ask for directions. :)

Why are boys so annoying?

My desire for real friendships

My friend Chelsie told me once, "College is the place to find your bridesmaids". Not that I plan on getting married any time soon. She is so right. I want friends who will be with me thro thick and thin. I want friends who will love me like I do. I want friends who will be loyal and truthful. In HS I had "friends". They were not real but I pretended they were so that I had someone to be with on weekends. I did not like spending time with them. I knew they did not like me but I tried to get them to like me. FAIL. I realize now I can not make people like me. If people dont like me, its their loss. It is a waste of time and energy to try to make someone like me. I do not want this repeated in college. One of my biggest fears. So far I have had only one problem with a close friend. I do not want to lose anyone but at the same time I want all of us to be on the same page. If someone doesnt want to be my friend, I want them to tell me. No secrecy.

The Past that Haunts me

There are things that happened in HS that still bother me today. I have come to realize that I have not completly forgiven them for what they did. I cant just say, "Lord, forgive them for they know not what they have done". I have a hard time forgving and forgetting what happened. It hurt me so much and I cant seem to let go and move on. I know I need time I only hope I will notbring others down with me. I want this tightening in my heart to go away. Everytime I pray about it the tears start to fall. I try to stop them and they keep faling faster and faster. I hate crying. To this day no one knows what really happend but me and the Lord. I cant explain this to anyone. The people who caused me pain and heartache probably do not remember what they did. Do I risk bringing it to their attention only to have them laugh and leave me feeling worse than before. I do not trust my voice when it comes to hard and sad things that hurt me deeply. I have a hard time expressing my anger in words without saying something I shouldnt. I cant be friends with them ever but I know I need to fogive. I do not want this to determine my future.