This may come off as a bit of a rant.
For those who know, I am both Deaf and black. This is a unique and annoying combination because I can't find a black Deaf guy. Even when looking for simply a black guy, they are all into white girls. Like really?!
Now I am not against interracial dating. I've done it before but now that I am older and looking for more than just "let's have fun for a few weeks" kind of relationship, I don't want someone who's background is the polar opposite of mine. So I really don't want to date a hearing white guy unless he's a CODA, SODA or an interpreter.
FYI, CODA means Child OF Deaf Adult and SODA means Sibling Of Deaf Adult.
I'd rather date someone closer to where I am at than have to teach him about Deaf culture or Black culture. You see what I'm saying.
At any rate, I should probably just go back to dating international black guys. That always works! lol It's been about 7 years since I dated an American anyway.
Anyone have any suggestions? lol
Sunday, June 16, 2019
Monday, November 12, 2018
Open Mindedness and Closed Mindedness
This has been on my mind for a while now.
Once, when I was looking for a new roommate, I posted on Denver Roommates FB page and a man replied asking if I was ok with living with him and his wife. I answered him saying that I was not comfortable with that and thanked him for responding. He replied back with, "Why not?" I answered saying that this was a two bedroom/ one bathroom apartment and I didn't feel comfortable with that situation. He became a little aggressive and said, "But we aren't fake married, we really are married." Not sure why he thought this was why I said no. I replied telling him again that I'd rather live with just a female and not a married couple, fake or not. He replied with "You're just closed-minded! You won't help a young couple who needs housing!" I was shocked. I still don't understand where his aggression came from. Maybe he was stressed? I tried to be polite the whole time and I didn't use all caps in any of my responses. I replied telling him that I would be happy to help him look around to see if someplace else was a better fit. I also told him that just because I don't agree with you or am comfortable with what you want to do doesn't mean I'm closed minded, it just means I have a different opinion.
Why is it that so many people feel that when someone disagrees with them they are automatically closed-minded? If someone was stubborn to try a new idea even though it could work, is that closed-mindedness? I might say yes, but most of the time when people use the word, that's not what they mean.
Then there are people who call themselves open-minded but really they are only open-minded to things that they agree with. Personally, I feel like if you're going to call yourself open-minded, you should be able to listen to another perspective or opinion on any given topic. I'm not asking everyone to understand it because believe me that are plenty of issues I don't understand. I am however trying to listen to other points of views and asking questions about why they believe what they believe instead of dismissing them based on something I don't like or agree with. For example, that person is white so why should I listen to them? That person is Republican/Democrat so, therefore, everything they say is stupid. That person has a disability so I don't want to be around them. The list goes on. It's sad, really.
Now is there such a thing as being too open-minded? I think so. I think if we because open to anything and everything the media feeds us, we become mindless. If we believe everything a Democrat says simply because he's a Democrat -- we become mindless. If we don't do the research before any election or when someone accuses someone of rape or murder -- we become susceptible. Meaning, anything anyone throws at us, we believe without giving it much thought. In a perfect world, I wish people would take the time to get to know and listen to a person of a different race, mindset and/or ability.
Let's all listen more to each other instead of tearing each other down.
Once, when I was looking for a new roommate, I posted on Denver Roommates FB page and a man replied asking if I was ok with living with him and his wife. I answered him saying that I was not comfortable with that and thanked him for responding. He replied back with, "Why not?" I answered saying that this was a two bedroom/ one bathroom apartment and I didn't feel comfortable with that situation. He became a little aggressive and said, "But we aren't fake married, we really are married." Not sure why he thought this was why I said no. I replied telling him again that I'd rather live with just a female and not a married couple, fake or not. He replied with "You're just closed-minded! You won't help a young couple who needs housing!" I was shocked. I still don't understand where his aggression came from. Maybe he was stressed? I tried to be polite the whole time and I didn't use all caps in any of my responses. I replied telling him that I would be happy to help him look around to see if someplace else was a better fit. I also told him that just because I don't agree with you or am comfortable with what you want to do doesn't mean I'm closed minded, it just means I have a different opinion.
Why is it that so many people feel that when someone disagrees with them they are automatically closed-minded? If someone was stubborn to try a new idea even though it could work, is that closed-mindedness? I might say yes, but most of the time when people use the word, that's not what they mean.
Then there are people who call themselves open-minded but really they are only open-minded to things that they agree with. Personally, I feel like if you're going to call yourself open-minded, you should be able to listen to another perspective or opinion on any given topic. I'm not asking everyone to understand it because believe me that are plenty of issues I don't understand. I am however trying to listen to other points of views and asking questions about why they believe what they believe instead of dismissing them based on something I don't like or agree with. For example, that person is white so why should I listen to them? That person is Republican/Democrat so, therefore, everything they say is stupid. That person has a disability so I don't want to be around them. The list goes on. It's sad, really.
Now is there such a thing as being too open-minded? I think so. I think if we because open to anything and everything the media feeds us, we become mindless. If we believe everything a Democrat says simply because he's a Democrat -- we become mindless. If we don't do the research before any election or when someone accuses someone of rape or murder -- we become susceptible. Meaning, anything anyone throws at us, we believe without giving it much thought. In a perfect world, I wish people would take the time to get to know and listen to a person of a different race, mindset and/or ability.
Let's all listen more to each other instead of tearing each other down.
Saturday, May 19, 2018
Right Where God Wants Me
Six months ago, I was a mess, inside and out. I had just finished my AmeriCorps service year and I had no idea what was next. It was both exciting and frightening. I felt that I should stay in Denver to see what else this city had to offer in the sense of friendships and job opportunities. I loved the vibrant scene and enjoyed the festivals. The friends I had made over the past year were those I didn't want to leave just yet. I loved the neighborhood I was in and wanted to stay. I didn't see a reason to move so I waited for God's leading.
Well, as some of you have experienced, God's leading isn't always crystal clear nor is it always fast. While I was nervous, I felt confident enough that Denver was the place for me. Sure, I still have dreams about whether or not I will ever have a hacienda in New Mexico complete with horses and wide open fields for miles. That was a childhood dream, but it's a nice one.
I worked part-time for what felt like an eternity at a sandwich shop. The boss there was not accommodating nor did she seem to really care about her employees the way I feel like she should have. Many employers I've had have created a safe place for their employees and encouraged us to talk to them at any time. I never felt comfortable talking with the boss at the sandwich shop about anything.
On top of dealing with her, I also felt an inner war going on because of how badly I wanted to get back to using my degree. I felt like I was going nowhere. There had to be more to my life than making sandwiches all day. I tried to focus on writing cover letters as well as hanging out with friends. When money is low and you have rent to pay and food to eat, you really can't do a whole lot since so many activities require having $20 to spend. Most of the time I had to count my pennies to make sure I had enough for rent.
January was the worst. I honestly didn't think I would make rent. However, due to God's provision, I was able to with some to spare on food and a bus pass. The way that it worked out was through two things; one -- a friend from church bought me food from the grocery store and two -- I had no heat in my bedroom for two months so the landlord took $100 off rent for February. If neither of those things happened, I would have had to call the landlord and say I can only pay so much and will try to get the rest soon. But I didn't have to do that.
Switches jobs to work at the Children's Museum is something I wish I had done sooner. My boss, there was awesome! I loved working there and I miss it today. I felt appreciated and supported which meant so much to me. It's definitely a place I would go back to given the right opportunity.
The job that took me away from there was a Grants and Database Coordinator position at Urban Peak where I am now. I've been there two months now and I can see that this is 100% without a doubt orchestrated by God my Father. I can hardly believe the pieces that fell into place. My boss, Katherine, she has a son who is Deaf. My other boss, Peggy, she's aware of what I need without me saying a whole lot about my hearing. I almost cried when she said, "Feel free to stop me or someone else in a meeting if you miss something." I have a coworker with hearing aids too. I have another coworker who is a writer. It's been a whirlwind two months but I am glad I'm with Urban Peak right now. It was worth the wait.
Well, as some of you have experienced, God's leading isn't always crystal clear nor is it always fast. While I was nervous, I felt confident enough that Denver was the place for me. Sure, I still have dreams about whether or not I will ever have a hacienda in New Mexico complete with horses and wide open fields for miles. That was a childhood dream, but it's a nice one.
I worked part-time for what felt like an eternity at a sandwich shop. The boss there was not accommodating nor did she seem to really care about her employees the way I feel like she should have. Many employers I've had have created a safe place for their employees and encouraged us to talk to them at any time. I never felt comfortable talking with the boss at the sandwich shop about anything.
On top of dealing with her, I also felt an inner war going on because of how badly I wanted to get back to using my degree. I felt like I was going nowhere. There had to be more to my life than making sandwiches all day. I tried to focus on writing cover letters as well as hanging out with friends. When money is low and you have rent to pay and food to eat, you really can't do a whole lot since so many activities require having $20 to spend. Most of the time I had to count my pennies to make sure I had enough for rent.
January was the worst. I honestly didn't think I would make rent. However, due to God's provision, I was able to with some to spare on food and a bus pass. The way that it worked out was through two things; one -- a friend from church bought me food from the grocery store and two -- I had no heat in my bedroom for two months so the landlord took $100 off rent for February. If neither of those things happened, I would have had to call the landlord and say I can only pay so much and will try to get the rest soon. But I didn't have to do that.
Switches jobs to work at the Children's Museum is something I wish I had done sooner. My boss, there was awesome! I loved working there and I miss it today. I felt appreciated and supported which meant so much to me. It's definitely a place I would go back to given the right opportunity.
The job that took me away from there was a Grants and Database Coordinator position at Urban Peak where I am now. I've been there two months now and I can see that this is 100% without a doubt orchestrated by God my Father. I can hardly believe the pieces that fell into place. My boss, Katherine, she has a son who is Deaf. My other boss, Peggy, she's aware of what I need without me saying a whole lot about my hearing. I almost cried when she said, "Feel free to stop me or someone else in a meeting if you miss something." I have a coworker with hearing aids too. I have another coworker who is a writer. It's been a whirlwind two months but I am glad I'm with Urban Peak right now. It was worth the wait.
Tuesday, October 10, 2017
A Word about The Good Doctor
Tonight, I watched the first episode of The Good Doctor and I have to say, I'm in love! Never have I seen a show about someone with a disability and it's POSITIVE! This is exactly what we need! So many tears flooded my eyes while watching this and I hope it only gets better.
For those who don't know, this show is about a young surgical resident who has autism. He is brilliant beyond measure and I love that they explain what going on in his head through pictures. It's fascinating. While I still have no desire to work in a hospital or have anything to do with practicing medicine, I love this show.
There were two scenes that jumped out at me. One of them was in the boardroom when the president of the hospital spoke about why he wanted to hire this young man, Shaun. The next scene I liked also takes place in the boardroom towards the end of the episode where Shaun gets a chance to speak. In both, I thought I was going to cry.
Too many people in this world are like the surgeon who told Shaun, "You don't belong here." Too many people act like those who are different, those with disabilities don't belong. I'm tired of it! We all have aspirations, gifts, desires and we should be allowed to pursue our dreams! No one should tell another person, "They don't belong." No.
Shaun belongs in surgery. I belong as a writer. We all belong somewhere. I encourage everyone to find out where that is :)
For those who don't know, this show is about a young surgical resident who has autism. He is brilliant beyond measure and I love that they explain what going on in his head through pictures. It's fascinating. While I still have no desire to work in a hospital or have anything to do with practicing medicine, I love this show.
There were two scenes that jumped out at me. One of them was in the boardroom when the president of the hospital spoke about why he wanted to hire this young man, Shaun. The next scene I liked also takes place in the boardroom towards the end of the episode where Shaun gets a chance to speak. In both, I thought I was going to cry.
Too many people in this world are like the surgeon who told Shaun, "You don't belong here." Too many people act like those who are different, those with disabilities don't belong. I'm tired of it! We all have aspirations, gifts, desires and we should be allowed to pursue our dreams! No one should tell another person, "They don't belong." No.
Shaun belongs in surgery. I belong as a writer. We all belong somewhere. I encourage everyone to find out where that is :)
Monday, March 13, 2017
What is Right?
Recently, I've been having multiple conversations on what is right in God's eyes verses the world. A couple nights ago, I was watching the new show Chicago Justice and in this particular episode Stone, a prosecutor, tells Hank Voight, the Commanding Officer of the team in Intelligence, "Having a right and doing what's right are completely two different things."
This hit home for me for many reasons. In the world we live in today, many people have a twisted view on what's right. Many feel that "what's right" should be or could be different for everyone and that there's no absolute truth. Just because we have a right to do whatever it is that makes ourselves happy, doesn't mean it's right to do. As Americans we have many rights, but we have to be careful not to abuse them.
The reason why Stone says this is because Voight wanted to testify giving his side of the story. However, Stone knows it's a complete lie and doesn't want to put him on the stand. Sure, it's Voight's right to testify if he wants, but is it the right thing to do in this case? No, it's not.
Sometimes we have to ask ourselves the hard questions like, "Will this hurt someone else? Could my reputation be ruined if someone finds out the truth?" We have to be responsible human beings and think beyond ourselves. If we don't, we could get ourselves or others into trouble.
Think before you exercise a right is all I ask.
This hit home for me for many reasons. In the world we live in today, many people have a twisted view on what's right. Many feel that "what's right" should be or could be different for everyone and that there's no absolute truth. Just because we have a right to do whatever it is that makes ourselves happy, doesn't mean it's right to do. As Americans we have many rights, but we have to be careful not to abuse them.
The reason why Stone says this is because Voight wanted to testify giving his side of the story. However, Stone knows it's a complete lie and doesn't want to put him on the stand. Sure, it's Voight's right to testify if he wants, but is it the right thing to do in this case? No, it's not.
Sometimes we have to ask ourselves the hard questions like, "Will this hurt someone else? Could my reputation be ruined if someone finds out the truth?" We have to be responsible human beings and think beyond ourselves. If we don't, we could get ourselves or others into trouble.
Think before you exercise a right is all I ask.
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