For the longest time, I felt that by asking for help that meant you were admitting defeat. It wasn't until much later in life where I realized that was the wrong philosophy to have.
"Having someone help you doesn't mean that you've failed. It just means that you're not in it alone."
I saw this one day and I'm not altogether sure where, but it changed my life. I finally came face to face with my fear. I didn't want to fail so therefore I never asked for help. I wanted to do it on my own. I wanted to be independent, not lean on anyone else or depend on someone. Then I realized that getting help doesn't mean that you're a failure. There will be people who know more than me and it's ok to ask them for assistance.
I've always felt like I needed to prove myself to someone whether it was a teacher, a classmate or my parents. Still do sometimes. I don't like feeling like I can't do something on my own. I've heard those words, "You can't" too many times and it stings. That phrase made me fight harder and be the best student I could be at everything. Math unfortunately, I had to accept that I just wasn't good at it. I still have to write down figures in order to come up with a correct answer. Never liked it when someone was better at me at something.
God created us each differently and uniquely. That's His divine plan. If all of us were like me, an awesome writer and a terrible math grump, this world would never see spaceships or airplanes. So many careers involve math heavily, even architecture. So if I have to ask for help on a math assignment or even assistance carrying something, I'll be ok. So will you. :)
Monday, April 27, 2015
Thursday, April 9, 2015
The "Hitler Effect"
The "Hitler Effect" is my own name for what I'm about to explain, if you want to call it something else that's totally up to you. This post is in no way designed to be hateful or force you to hold my views. This is only my opinion based on conversations I've heard and people I've met.
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It makes me sad when I see people denounce their faith, religion, heritage etc based on someone'e radical view or their pushy attitude. One person I know said they didn't even want anything to do with their previous faith because of someone who gave that faith a bad rep. Now, I can understand why this person is upset, but at the same time it's not a reason to stop believing in the god you do. Just because ONE person decided to do things their own way, does't mean you should stop doing or believing in what you do. Inevitably, this is why I call it the "Hitler Effect." He let ONE Jewish person decide the fate of EVERY single Jew. Just like you shouldn't say all whites like mayo or all Asians like pandas. It's a generalization that doesn't mean every one in that race likes one particular thing. Not everyone in my family of African Americans likes fried chicken.
Speaking of African Americans, there are some out there that make me mad! Why? They act like what the slave masters thought we were, animals. They talk trash, they act like everything is entitled to them and they don't care about other people'e feelings. Should this mean I should not "label" myself as an African American? No! I was raised differently. I was taught to talk properly, to respect others and to treat people the same way I would want to be treated. Unfortunately, this is not common anymore. (There are white people who act like the above as well...) Sadly, it's become expected for a young black person to not graduate high school, to have three kids without being married and I could go on. Because of all this, people make the assumption that ALL of us are like this. NO! This goes along with the "Hitler Effect" because many see their black neighbors or see us walking down the street or in a grocery store and start generalizing.
Personally, I find all of these media and news pieces that talk in generalizations and/or talk about one person in a particular faith who says things puts the whole faith in a bad light, extremely annoying. To go even further, each one of us shouldn't read or watch these stories and stop doing what we know is right. I'm still going to be Ruth Jackson who is strong, independent, writer, creative, Christian, African American despite those who put my race, faith, religion, background, education-you name it-in a bad light. You should stand your ground and not let anyone else shake your core.
I hope this post gives you something deeper to think about and hopefully it helps you ask those hard questions which will turn you into a stronger better person. Don't let one person tear you down. Rise above it!
_______________________________________________________________________________
It makes me sad when I see people denounce their faith, religion, heritage etc based on someone'e radical view or their pushy attitude. One person I know said they didn't even want anything to do with their previous faith because of someone who gave that faith a bad rep. Now, I can understand why this person is upset, but at the same time it's not a reason to stop believing in the god you do. Just because ONE person decided to do things their own way, does't mean you should stop doing or believing in what you do. Inevitably, this is why I call it the "Hitler Effect." He let ONE Jewish person decide the fate of EVERY single Jew. Just like you shouldn't say all whites like mayo or all Asians like pandas. It's a generalization that doesn't mean every one in that race likes one particular thing. Not everyone in my family of African Americans likes fried chicken.
Speaking of African Americans, there are some out there that make me mad! Why? They act like what the slave masters thought we were, animals. They talk trash, they act like everything is entitled to them and they don't care about other people'e feelings. Should this mean I should not "label" myself as an African American? No! I was raised differently. I was taught to talk properly, to respect others and to treat people the same way I would want to be treated. Unfortunately, this is not common anymore. (There are white people who act like the above as well...) Sadly, it's become expected for a young black person to not graduate high school, to have three kids without being married and I could go on. Because of all this, people make the assumption that ALL of us are like this. NO! This goes along with the "Hitler Effect" because many see their black neighbors or see us walking down the street or in a grocery store and start generalizing.
Personally, I find all of these media and news pieces that talk in generalizations and/or talk about one person in a particular faith who says things puts the whole faith in a bad light, extremely annoying. To go even further, each one of us shouldn't read or watch these stories and stop doing what we know is right. I'm still going to be Ruth Jackson who is strong, independent, writer, creative, Christian, African American despite those who put my race, faith, religion, background, education-you name it-in a bad light. You should stand your ground and not let anyone else shake your core.
I hope this post gives you something deeper to think about and hopefully it helps you ask those hard questions which will turn you into a stronger better person. Don't let one person tear you down. Rise above it!
Thursday, March 19, 2015
Success
"Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm."
-Winston Churchill
I saw this on a poster on my sister's campus last year. It resonated with me for two reasons. One being that I've felt like a failure on more than one occasion and two because I've come to realize that without enthusiasm everything will feel like a fail even when it's a minor success. Most of the time, it's how you look at it, how you perceive it.
Looking at my life growing up, I had quite a few setbacks. My dream of becoming a Blue Angel failed. My first crush didn't even like me. My hearing loss made it extremely difficult to learn the "traditional" way. So called friends turned their backs on me again and again. Being a victim to bullying became a way of life. I could go on. All of those things either made me stronger or changed my life for the better. I'm not saying I love the fact that I was bullied or that my first crush didn't see me as a human being. However, I am saying that because I dealt with failure all along the way, I did my best to find a happy place. In my case, it was writing and reading. I never felt failure when doing either one of those activities. Sure there were times I had writer's block or the character in the book didn't see the gun soon enough, but I always had them to turn to when life got bad.
Being enthusiastic is hard, believe me, especially when you really don't feel like it. For instance, I hate being in front of people for any reason. In order for me to put a real smile on my face when playing in front of an audience or giving a speech, I have to really put my focus on what I'm doing, not the audience. In speech class, I loved it when we were given the freedom to give a speech on a topic we choose. I would make it a mission to talk about something I cared about i.e. animal extinction and cooking my favorite meal, Lasagna Rolls. Writing the speech was definitely more fun than giving it but I learned to put enthusiasm into it and by the time I was in the middle of it, I felt more relaxed.
What can you do the next time you encounter failure?
-Winston Churchill
I saw this on a poster on my sister's campus last year. It resonated with me for two reasons. One being that I've felt like a failure on more than one occasion and two because I've come to realize that without enthusiasm everything will feel like a fail even when it's a minor success. Most of the time, it's how you look at it, how you perceive it.
Looking at my life growing up, I had quite a few setbacks. My dream of becoming a Blue Angel failed. My first crush didn't even like me. My hearing loss made it extremely difficult to learn the "traditional" way. So called friends turned their backs on me again and again. Being a victim to bullying became a way of life. I could go on. All of those things either made me stronger or changed my life for the better. I'm not saying I love the fact that I was bullied or that my first crush didn't see me as a human being. However, I am saying that because I dealt with failure all along the way, I did my best to find a happy place. In my case, it was writing and reading. I never felt failure when doing either one of those activities. Sure there were times I had writer's block or the character in the book didn't see the gun soon enough, but I always had them to turn to when life got bad.
Being enthusiastic is hard, believe me, especially when you really don't feel like it. For instance, I hate being in front of people for any reason. In order for me to put a real smile on my face when playing in front of an audience or giving a speech, I have to really put my focus on what I'm doing, not the audience. In speech class, I loved it when we were given the freedom to give a speech on a topic we choose. I would make it a mission to talk about something I cared about i.e. animal extinction and cooking my favorite meal, Lasagna Rolls. Writing the speech was definitely more fun than giving it but I learned to put enthusiasm into it and by the time I was in the middle of it, I felt more relaxed.
What can you do the next time you encounter failure?
Friday, February 27, 2015
Friendship Has Value
The more people I let into my life as the years go by, the more I ask myself, "Why some people don't act like friendship, a real, honest friendship, has a price?" You give a little and you take a little. People I meet often don't want to give they just want to get. I don't understand that at all. There are others who, like me, give their all to the wrong people and are left wondering where they went wrong? How can you protect yourself from selfish people? You can't. Sure, there are ways to be cautious like waiting until they prove to you that they are worth your time. Who knows how long that will take, but if you're willing to take every relationship slow, it might be worth your time.
I'm writing this post because too often I get to a point in a friendship and he/she throws me off course by doing something that doesn't go with being a friend. For instance, blowing me off again and again. Or not really paying attention when I need someone to talk to. Or worse yet, yelling at me when I'm already upset. I realize people are human and I'm one of those crazy individuals who love showing love so when someone doesn't show it back, it's a slap in my face. Maybe I shouldn't "wear my heart on my sleeve" so much. Maybe I shouldn't expect someone to match my "mad nice" personality.
You know that phrase, "Your past doesn't define you." Well, in a way it does. What I mean by that is your past molds you and shapes you into who you are today. Now it is true that you shouldn't LET your past define you in such a way that you relive your past mistakes or make new ones based on your past. For instance, I was bullied all my life; 1st grade through senior year. Why? I was quiet. I was black. I was Deaf. I prefered to be left alone. I wasn't a partier. I hated crowds. I loved to read. I loved to write. I was extremely creative. There are probably other reasons that I may not have been aware of.
The difference between those years and now is that the friends I met post high school were real. They stuck with me through my lowest of lows. They know my idiosyncrasies and still love me. They know I am Deaf and they don't see me as different. They love the fact that I'm a passionate writer. This attitude made such a huge difference. I became less shy and more outgoing because I finally accepted myself for who I am. I didn't have to pretend to be someone else like I felt I had to before. Because of what I went through growing up, I'm more careful with who I let into my life. There are times when I fail myself and let my heart fly ahead of my head, but you live and learn. LEARN being the key word. In a way, that experience taught me of the value of friendship. Real friends mean a lot to me and when I find those who accept me "as is," I hold them quite tight. So if they leave or I feel disrespected by them, it's painful and I feel compelled to say something.
I say all this to say, friendship has value. I wish more people could see the importance of this. Every day, I strive to be a better friend because that's what I want above all else. :)
I'm writing this post because too often I get to a point in a friendship and he/she throws me off course by doing something that doesn't go with being a friend. For instance, blowing me off again and again. Or not really paying attention when I need someone to talk to. Or worse yet, yelling at me when I'm already upset. I realize people are human and I'm one of those crazy individuals who love showing love so when someone doesn't show it back, it's a slap in my face. Maybe I shouldn't "wear my heart on my sleeve" so much. Maybe I shouldn't expect someone to match my "mad nice" personality.
You know that phrase, "Your past doesn't define you." Well, in a way it does. What I mean by that is your past molds you and shapes you into who you are today. Now it is true that you shouldn't LET your past define you in such a way that you relive your past mistakes or make new ones based on your past. For instance, I was bullied all my life; 1st grade through senior year. Why? I was quiet. I was black. I was Deaf. I prefered to be left alone. I wasn't a partier. I hated crowds. I loved to read. I loved to write. I was extremely creative. There are probably other reasons that I may not have been aware of.
The difference between those years and now is that the friends I met post high school were real. They stuck with me through my lowest of lows. They know my idiosyncrasies and still love me. They know I am Deaf and they don't see me as different. They love the fact that I'm a passionate writer. This attitude made such a huge difference. I became less shy and more outgoing because I finally accepted myself for who I am. I didn't have to pretend to be someone else like I felt I had to before. Because of what I went through growing up, I'm more careful with who I let into my life. There are times when I fail myself and let my heart fly ahead of my head, but you live and learn. LEARN being the key word. In a way, that experience taught me of the value of friendship. Real friends mean a lot to me and when I find those who accept me "as is," I hold them quite tight. So if they leave or I feel disrespected by them, it's painful and I feel compelled to say something.
I say all this to say, friendship has value. I wish more people could see the importance of this. Every day, I strive to be a better friend because that's what I want above all else. :)
Monday, February 23, 2015
When You Love Your Body, You Have to Make Sacrifices
When Nutella enters the house, all diets go out the window. It's true. Same thing goes for a really good pizza or scrumptious home baked cupcakes. I have such a hard time saying, "NO!" I see those items of goodness and I just can't stop my arm from reaching out and bringing it to my lips to taste. Before I know it, the jar is half empty or I'm on my fifth cupcake of the night. It takes all of me not to want to scream in agony. Why do I do this to myself? I want to take care of this body I was given so why am I treating it so horribly? Why does such awesomeness have to be so unhealthy? Those nasty corporations HAVE to put junk in it!!??!
Granted, indulgences of sweets and such are ok every so often, but not binges. When you love your body, you want to take care of it. Therefore, you must make sacrifices as unhappy they may cause you to be.
Nutella, why have you done this to me?!
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