The Right Thing Isn't Always Easy

If doing the right thing was easy, we'd all be doing it everyday. However, because it isn't, very often we'd rather not and choose to do the thing that's wrong because it's easier.

You all know already that I love to talk about TV shows that teach something. One of them is Blue Bloods, and while I'm not a Catholic I do agree with many topics of conversation that happen around the Reagan family dinner table or side discussions. Last night's episode was a rerun, but I still managed to take away something.

"It's hard to know what to do when you're not sure what the right thing is." When the PC, Frank Reagan, said this to his daughter, Erin, they both knew what the right thing was. The truth of the statement remains the same; doing the right thing is hard and in the situation with Erin, she could lose her job. I don't want to spoil the ending for those who don't watch this show but might watch it later, so all I will say is that she did what was right despite her opposition.

In my life now, I face the question, what is the right thing to do? My heart is in so much pain and I don't want it to cloud my judgement. Forming relationships of any kind have been tough since the beginning especially lasting ones. I know I'm different. I know I'm sensitive, but I also know that I care a lot. Sometimes that seems to mean that it's inevitable that I will get hurt. Humans disappoint and I have to remind myself of that daily as well as not to expect so much. In my mind, I have a vision of what a good friendship looks like. While everyone has a different perspective on what love is or what respect is, I can't devalue my values simply because few people understand or respect my views.

Another awesome quote (from Instagram, not a TV show), "You don't gotta drop it low if you raise your standards." How true is that!? I shouldn't have to disregard my values simply because the person I want to have a friendship or relationship with doesn't agree.

My sister and I don't see eye to eye anymore and that doesn't mean I should let go of my beliefs. Just means I can't expect the same relationship we had growing up. We need to find common ground elsewhere. When that will happen, I have no idea. How to go about forging a new relationship with her, I have no idea. What the right thing is to do concerning my sister, I have no idea. I do know that no matter how many fights we have or tears we shed, we are still sisters. It will take time to figure out what the right thing is, but that shouldn't stop us from trying.

Be You

Funny, how movies I've seen a bunch of times still manages to teach me something new. Mom's Night Out is a crazy fun movie to watch full of laughs but when Bones, a stranger turned friend of Allyson's says something profound, it really makes one stop and think. Have any of you felt like everything you did wasn't enough? Have you felt worthless to your friends, family and maybe even to God? Since I've moved, I've felt that way hundreds of times. I try so hard to make friends and so many toss me to the curb or treat me with disrespect. Sometimes I feel like giving up and just trying a new city altogether, but then I meet new people and my heart feels light again.

Bones, not a man of God, said this..."He loves you, Charles. No matter who you are or what you do or how far you run. Jesus will always be loving you with his arms open wide just for being you."

It's crazy how often we think we have to earn His love or be someone we're not in order for others to like us. He created us as individuals and He does NOT make mistakes. He could have made us all robots but He didn't....for a reason. We each bring something unique into this world, our families and friends.

Being me took so long to come out, but when I do share my stories and be myself, I've found that some will accept and some will reject. Very often those who reject you isn't a reflection of how awful of a person you are but rather a reflection of how immature they are or unwilling to see your point of view. If you are true to yourself, respectful towards others I can't believe you'll never find people who will love you for who you are. God certainly will never stop loving you, we can always count on that.

God made each animal differently too, an eagle for example, cares for its young like its supposed to. It's a beautiful thing because its doing exactly what God wants.

We beat ourselves up trying to be someone/something else. STOP! PLEASE! Be you! Be the person God made you to be and you will be much happier. :)

Keep On Diving

The first two episodes in season 2 of Supergirl have been more in depth and coincidentally things I really needed to hear. Cat Grant is an amazing character and I love the pearls of wisdom she gives out to Kara and others around her. I think this was the first time where she took her own advice. We shall see what happens with that in the coming episodes.

Cat Grant tells Kara to keep on diving to find out what she wants in life. In the two months since moving to Denver, I've had highs and super lows. Obviously, there is no place on earth that is perfect and no stage of life where everything is rosy all the time. However, when numerous sad/bad things happen all in a row, it begs the question of what am I really doing here? Was it a mistake to move and strike out on my own? I've given both those questions and more a whole lot of thought.While it is tough being alone, trying to make new friends and juggling responsibilities, it's rewarding in some ways. I do like being on my own versus relying on others. I can buy the food I want, go to festivals, invite friends over or just chill all night watching NCIS. It's part of growing up and like it or not....that's what I'm doing.

Kara mentioned to Cat Grant that she finally knew what she wanted to be, a reporter because it challenges her and makes her a better version of herself. I think everyone should strive to get to that place in life. We should evaluate our lives from time to time and see where we are and ask where we want to go. I honestly have no idea how to answer that question. For so long, I've known what I wanted to do but since junior year of college I've wondered what else beyond just being a writer is out there for me. Now, I refuse to be a reporter. I know that's not the way to go, however what kind of writing besides novel makes me happy? Makes me a better version of myself? That I do not know, but I will find out!

Find what motivates you. Find what makes you happy to get out of that warm bed. Keep on diving!

Dare to Defy

I'm really sad that Supergirl moved to the CW instead of being on CBS again this coming season. Don't have cable in my apartment and the CW doesn't offer captions with their online streaming, as far as I know. This show has caused me to think about my life in different ways -- good ways. The lessons I've learned I've posted on this blog for the last year and I had hoped to do it again, but I may not be able to. Once these are on DVD though, I will be sure to get them. I love how clean this show is and I hope it will continue to be so, but I won't hold my breath.

Dare to Defy is her motto and I've been thinking about this a lot because I still struggle how to identify myself sometimes. There are days/weeks where I know who I am and refuse to let someone pull me or make me second-guess myself. Then there are other times where I feel like crying; like I'm starting all over again. 

I don't feel African American nor Deaf. I know based on my skin color, I am. I know based on my degree of hearing loss, I am. However, very often I am not accepted in either of those groups. Mind you, there are those who do and I'm grateful for them. I didn't grow up in a predominantly black neighborhood. I didn't grow up with ASL. I'm not "down with it" nor am I fluent in ASL. I have quite a few white friends, Asian friends, friends of the African persuasion, hearing friends and Deaf friends. I like being around all of them. I especially enjoy being able to be myself around them. I don't have to talk like I'm from the Bronx or pretend I can fingerspell like lightening. 

When people ask me if I've watched the Color Purple or The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and when I say, "No," I'm greeted with a look that says, "Exccuuuuuse me?!" People ask me whether I'm Deaf or not and when I say I am deaf, they're not sure if I'm telling the truth. "Are you really Deaf or are you really hard-of-hearing?" Today, that question threw me. For so long I struggled with how to identify myself in that manner. At first it was, no I'm not Deaf because in my mind I thought Deaf meant I was stupid. The way hearing people referred to me in high school was as if I was stupid. There are many things I can't hear without my hearing aids. With them, I can understand the world around me better so in a way with them I become hard-of-hearing. At the same time, I'm not sure I like that term. While I didn't grow up D/deaf at all, I refer to myself as deaf (not Deaf) because I didn't grow up with ASL or understanding Deaf Culture. I grew up in a hearing environment and was taught how to speak.

I don't like feeling on the fence and I wish I could just be one and be done with it. No questions asked. I don't like having to defend how I label myself. I don't even like labeling myself at all. Dare to defy has such a deeper meaning for me. Even if others try to put me in a box, I won't fit. I refuse to fit.

The Most Hated Religions of the 21st Century

I see these Coexist bumper stickers everywhere and people going on and on about acceptance instead of hate. Why is it ok to hate Muslims, but it's not ok to hate gay people? While I don't believe we should hate anyone for any reason, some people follow this absurd logic. While acceptance shouldn't be pushed so much, I believe respect should instead.

This topic has been on my mind for quite some time. Muslims and Christians, people hate beyond words and I wish people could show more respect...actually respect at all. I also wish that the media would stop blowing things out of proportion and/or giving us half if not only a quarter of the whole story. It's because of this fear/hatred of Muslim's in particular we get so antsy when we see someone wearing a hijab in an airport, on a bus or simply walking into a store. I don't like it. I wish I could stop thinking the worst when I see these people. There are many innocent Muslims who follow their religion as Allah actually instructed. They aren't radicals. They are simply individuals who want a better life for themselves and their children.

In the world of Christianity, many people hate not only the religion, but the philosophy, way of life and the person behind it all. Gods has rules for us and specific guidelines for His people. Real Christians are the ones who actually follow them. For instance, not swearing/taking God's name in vain. Someone who truly wants to be closer to God won't utter those kinds of words and if they do by accident, they will show regret. Like everyone else, Christians make mistakes and I think as individuals whether we follow Christianity or not should be aware of this and be mindful of this fact.

Muslims and Christians have quite a few things in common such as how much the religions governs our way of life. Both groups attend church/mosque on a regular basis, if they are true to their beliefs. They also desire to honor their God by living the right way based on what their Holy Book says. There are hundreds of people who call themselves Muslims or Christians, but until you look at their lives, you can't take that at face value. They may not be true to their religion. I don't understand how/why people call themselves Christians when all they really do that's even close to what Christ preaches is go to church every so often. As if that give them God points or something. NO! Being a Christian is about following Christ. If you don't obey His commands on a daily basis, what are you really? If you call yourself a Muslim, but kill innocent people left and right, what are you really? You're just a human being who isn't a true follower. Neither Allah nor Christ teaches that it's ok to be complacent or pick and choose whatever rules you want to follow and still call yourself a true follower.

So why do we hate Christians and Muslims? In my opinion, it's because the belies are so close to the heart and daily life. It effects how we talk, where we go and who we interact with. True believers want to do what's right and the rest of the world wants to do whatever feels good at the time. As our society goes farther away from treating everyone with respect regardless of whether or not you agree with them, both these religions will never seek peace. While neither are persecuted like they are in some other countries, they do live in fear. Fear of ridicule, fear of being ignored and fear of being losing friends/family.

Stop hating on others for what they believe. There are plenty of issues I don't see eye to eye with individuals, but I don't hate a person who is Pro-Abortion/Choice. I don't hate the person who thinks pushing uni-sex bathrooms for the 1% of the population that calls themselves transgender is a good thing. I really don't like it when people call themselves Christians or any other religion and don't even follow the basic teachings. Sure, we have set-backs and months/years where we've desensitized ourselves to the point where we don't even realize we aren't true. It happens and I hope someone in your life cares enough about you to point that out so that you can change for the better and become the person God wants you to be.

Don't hate. Appreciate our differences no matter who we choose to vote for, what god we follow or side of the issue we stand.