Sacrifice

When I hear this word, "sacrifice," I think of the greatest sacrifice the world has ever known, God's Son. Honestly, I don't understand why people cringe at this word. In any relationship, you need to sacrifice something at some point in order to make the other person more comfortable or just to be there for them. God sacrificed his Son so that we would be able to have a relationship with Him. Just like He did, we humans should sacrifice things in order to have a solid relationship with a person we care about. A friendship is a two way street as is an intimate bond.

In a friendship, you might sacrifice a date night in order to lend a shoulder or ear because they are going through a hardship and need their friend. In a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, you probably will sacrifice a video game night with your buddies, ratty old t-shirt from high school or maybe a favorite food because you know the other doesn't like it. Like many things, there are instances where you shouldn't sacrifice because that would mean you have no life! Give and take is what makes a stronger bond between two people. I've experienced this first hand in many ways.

So sacrifice isn't a bad thing! It helps make you more self-less and think about the other person before yourself. The world doesn't revolve around any one person or idea. We are all different and should learn to embrace each other as well as shape each other. We were not meant to stand alone, but to be loved and be a lover. Do what makes another person happy, not just yourself. That is true sacrifice. :)

What Is It About the Word 'Respect'?

Almost everywhere I go, I see the lack of respect in kids as well as adults. We all demand respect for ourselves yet very rarely do we understand how to respect others. Honestly, the world is going downhill fast if we don't do something about this concept.

What is respect? According to dictionary.com, there are many definitions for this word so I will just point out a couple.
1) esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability:
2) deference to a right, privilege, privileged position, or someone or something considered to have certain rights or privileges; proper acceptance or courtesy; acknowledgment:

Regardless of your race, occupation, tastes, religion etc we should all learn how to truly respect each other's differences. God made us unique therefore, we are going to disagree on things or simply just not like something. Do we have to bash each other for those differences? NO! We state our opinion on a matter respectfully and hear what the other person has to say.

What I see happen quite often is this...Sam says, "I think that smoking is bad for you because it damages your lungs and causes cancer." James says, "How dare you accuse me of being wrong! I can do whatever I want whenever I want!" Sam says, "If you look at the facts..." "You're stupid!" "Well, you're the one who's too stupid to know the truth when it's right in front of you!" and so on. Is this showing respect to either person? Nope. Now, Sam tried to just state facts but unfortunately he let his emotions get the better of him.

Sometimes we become stubborn in our way of thinking and push ideas on other people. It's ok to have a difference in opinion on how the welfare system works, whether or not we should have a law against abortion or when is it ok to spank a child. The problem occurs when we ostracize each other based on our opinion or ridicule others because they hold an opinion you strongly disagree with. THAT IS NOT RESPECT.

Thank God we still live in a country where we have freedom of speech, freedom of religion etc. Frustration overwhelms me when I see hurtful conversations on social media or hear people talk about someone else and their "opposite" opinion in a bullying kind of way. I do my best to respect others lack of faith, what I would deem "wrong" choices etc. but I can be just as wrong as the person next door. The difference between them and me is my choice to show respect even if I wholeheartedly don't agree.

See where that gets you.

What If

Here's a thought provoking question....

What if every time we said or did something we first took a moment to think about how we would feel if someone else said or did that to us?

Personally, I think just by doing something simple like this would prevent so many issues down the road. To go even further, it might just solve a quarter of America's social issues right now.

People have a habit of "shooting first and asking questions later." I'm guilty of this too. Just recently, I accused a close friend of mine of something he didn't do. After I told him about my perception on the incident and he explained his actions, I realized I assumed by putting pieces together that didn't belong. I'm glad I didn't come on to hard on him and lead the discussion with, "What did my face tell you after you did such and such?" instead of leading with "I can't believe you did that! That was wrong!" It made such a difference on how I carried myself and how I calmly (this was hard) explained how I perceived the situation.

I see the wrong way to approach someone so often both on TV and real life. I tend to scream inwardly at the person and say "Let him explain!" Granted, there are times when giving someone the benefit of the doubt is the wrong thing to do especially if they have a proven track record of lying. But giving the other person a chance to say their piece shouldn't be taken away from them. Maybe they know they were wrong and want to say an apology. Maybe you missed something in their body language or words that would have prevented you from getting angry in the first place if you had caught it. Or maybe they are going through something hard personally and need a friend.

As a rule of thumb in my life, I don't yell and scream. I take the time to calm down and think about what I want/need to say. Sometimes, it takes a long time but if I force myself to gather the courage to say it, I will. Very often what needs to be said is hard to say.

So in conclusion, I hope this post helps you think about how you interact with friends, family and even perfect strangers.

Help

For the longest time, I felt that by asking for help that meant you were admitting defeat. It wasn't until much later in life where I realized that was the wrong philosophy to have.

"Having someone help you doesn't mean that you've failed. It just means that you're not in it alone."

I saw this one day and I'm not altogether sure where, but it changed my life. I finally came face to face with my fear. I didn't want to fail so therefore I never asked for help. I wanted to do it on my own. I wanted to be independent, not lean on anyone else or depend on someone. Then I realized that getting help doesn't mean that you're a failure. There will be people who know more than me and it's ok to ask them for assistance.

I've always felt like I needed to prove myself to someone whether it was a teacher, a classmate or my parents. Still do sometimes. I don't like feeling like I can't do something on my own. I've heard those words, "You can't" too many times and it stings. That phrase made me fight harder and be the best student I could be at everything. Math unfortunately, I had to accept that I just wasn't good at it. I still have to write down figures in order to come up with a correct answer. Never liked it when someone was better at me at something.

God created us each differently and uniquely. That's His divine plan. If all of us were like me, an awesome writer and a terrible math grump, this world would never see spaceships or airplanes. So many careers involve math heavily, even architecture. So if I have to ask for help on a math assignment or even assistance carrying something, I'll be ok. So will you. :)

The "Hitler Effect"

The "Hitler Effect" is my own name for what I'm about to explain, if you want to call it something else that's totally up to you. This post is in no way designed to be hateful or force you to hold my views. This is only my opinion based on conversations I've heard and people I've met.

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It makes me sad when I see people denounce their faith, religion, heritage etc based on someone'e radical view or their pushy attitude. One person I know said they didn't even want anything to do with their previous faith because of someone who gave that faith a bad rep. Now, I can understand why this person is upset, but at the same time it's not a reason to stop believing in the god you do. Just because ONE person decided to do things their own way, does't mean you should stop doing or believing in what you do. Inevitably, this is why I call it the "Hitler Effect." He let ONE Jewish person decide the fate of EVERY single Jew. Just like you shouldn't say all whites like mayo or all Asians like pandas. It's a generalization that doesn't mean every one in that race likes one particular thing. Not everyone in my family of African Americans likes fried chicken.

Speaking of African Americans, there are some out there that make me mad! Why? They act like what the slave masters thought we were, animals. They talk trash, they act like everything is entitled to them and they don't care about other people'e feelings. Should this mean I should not "label" myself as an African American? No! I was raised differently. I was taught to talk properly, to respect others and to treat people the same way I would want to be treated. Unfortunately, this is not common anymore. (There are white people who act like the above as well...) Sadly, it's become expected for a young black person to not graduate high school, to have three kids without being married and I could go on. Because of all this, people make the assumption that ALL of us are like this. NO! This goes along with the "Hitler Effect" because many see their black neighbors or see us walking down the street or in a grocery store and start generalizing.

Personally, I find all of these media and news pieces that talk in generalizations and/or talk about one person in a particular faith who says things puts the whole faith in a bad light, extremely annoying. To go even further, each one of us shouldn't read or watch these stories and stop doing what we know is right. I'm still going to be Ruth Jackson who is strong, independent, writer, creative, Christian, African American despite those who put my race, faith, religion, background, education-you name it-in a bad light. You should stand your ground and not let anyone else shake your core.

I hope this post gives you something deeper to think about and hopefully it helps you ask those hard questions which will turn you into a stronger better person. Don't let one person tear you down. Rise above it!