Whenever I hear this phrase, "not my problem" I immediately get upset. Why? This mentality is a problem. This gives the excuse that what someone else is going through shouldn't affect you.
When my uncle died, I needed a friend. Someone I could talk to. Someone that would just sit and be there. What I didn't need was someone to tell me that they couldn't deal with my silence anymore. My pain "wasn't their problem." Every time I hear that phrase, my heart just wants to squeeze itself until it doesn't exist.
I know what it's like to live in pain. I know what it's like to feel like no one cares you're alive. However, being a friend means taking the good with the bad. We all know life isn't a bed of roses. If anyone thinks otherwise, they are living in a dream. Doesn't matter how much faith you have. Doesn't matter how many guns you own. Having a support system means the world to an individual.
The next time someone you know is hurting, whether or not the cause is your fault, don't say that it's not your problem because in a way as a friend, it is. Be there.
<3 nbsp="">
Thursday, February 19, 2015
Sunday, February 15, 2015
When Will They Learn
Again, someone has disrespected the Islamic faith and have gotten a firefight in response. Just months prior, a group made fun of the Islamic faith in Paris and got the same result.
Freedom of Speech does not and will not include the freedom to defame, disrespect or otherwise make fun of another person's chosen religion. Doesn't matter who you are, who you think you are or whether or not you seem to think you can get away with it. Freedom, any freedom, comes with responsibilities and consequences. Freedom to marry who we please comes with both of these things as well. If we marry the wrong person, we suffer the consequences. Freedom to start a business; if you invest the right way, you will prosper. The list can go on.
Just because you CAN or ALLOWED to do something doesn't always make it the RIGHT THING to do. Do the world a favor and stop poking fun at others who are different from you. In a nutshell, your actions are called bullying. Angering others is not nice and not just because they (Islamics) will kill you but because it simply isn't a good thing to do.
So the next time, you feel the "need" to draw a caricature or verbally defame someone for their beliefs or any other reason, DON'T.
Wednesday, February 4, 2015
Everyone has a Mother, but not everyone has a Mom
Now, it's a known fact that every person is born from a womb inside a woman, unless they are a science specimen or clone. Despite the fact that I have been blessed with both a mother and a mom, I'm still deeply saddened and have a huge heart for those girls with a single dad. There are so many things I would never discuss with my dad and would only go to my mom for help.
It's extremely helpful for a girl to have an older woman to go to for help whether it's about their growing, ever changing bodies or how to deal with the opposite sex. Gender plays a huge role in how we grow up and what we learn about our own gender and the opposite. Personally, I feel that I've learned at a slower rate in many areas about the opposite sex growing up without a brother. Now, I did have those boys and men in my life who were friends, cousins and of course my father. At the same time, I never had a close relationship with my cousins or guy friends until middle school. The more you're around certain genders, the more you learn about them, how to interact with them, how to talk to them and so on so forth.
Sure, you can read about other genders, how they act and maybe even one that lists common questions that are answered, but nothing is like having a real relationship with that person. Both Moms and Dads are important to have and I hope as our children grow up in single parent homes, that they fill the hole with someone who is willing and just as loving.
It's extremely helpful for a girl to have an older woman to go to for help whether it's about their growing, ever changing bodies or how to deal with the opposite sex. Gender plays a huge role in how we grow up and what we learn about our own gender and the opposite. Personally, I feel that I've learned at a slower rate in many areas about the opposite sex growing up without a brother. Now, I did have those boys and men in my life who were friends, cousins and of course my father. At the same time, I never had a close relationship with my cousins or guy friends until middle school. The more you're around certain genders, the more you learn about them, how to interact with them, how to talk to them and so on so forth.
Sure, you can read about other genders, how they act and maybe even one that lists common questions that are answered, but nothing is like having a real relationship with that person. Both Moms and Dads are important to have and I hope as our children grow up in single parent homes, that they fill the hole with someone who is willing and just as loving.
Monday, February 2, 2015
COMMON Courtesy Doesn't Exist
Does anyone know what common courtesy is anymore? Or do we all have our different views on what it is? Personally, these are what I believe everyone should hold as common courtesy...
1) Hold the door open for the person a couple feet behind you regardless of gender
2) If you see someone needs help carrying something, offer your assistance in some way
3) Treat others the way you want to be treated
4) When someone doesn't like something you said or did, STOP especially if he/she is a friend
5) When a friend/relative sends you a message via email, phone, social media respond as quickly as you can. Don't ignore the person for days without some sort of reply like "I will get back to you on that."
6) When a friend is in need of a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear, drop something and help her/him. You don't need to move a mountain to help a friend.
7) Respect each other's differences. If you don't agree, oh well. But don't shoot them down just so you can feel better about your stand on the matter. Or try to change their mind when it's clear they don't want to. Know when to stop.
I realize that many of us have grown up differently under different circumstances. This doesn't mean our present/future has to mirror our past. I've been blessed to grow up in a loving home, with food on the table every night and parents to come home to. Not everyone had/has that. At the same time, this is no excuse for some of us to treat others like we were treated by our drunk fathers or incompetent mothers etc. Don't let your circumstances ruin your chance at a happy life. Don't let your past ruin your present. Be the best {insert your name here} you can be. With each passing day, be nicer, be more understanding, be more loving.
Side Note: Truly loving someone doesn't mean only when it's good for you. Real love means sacrifice, commitment and understanding. Don't jump ship the first moment of trouble. Work it out. Give a little. Help each other grow and love each other more :) <3 nbsp="" p="">
1) Hold the door open for the person a couple feet behind you regardless of gender
2) If you see someone needs help carrying something, offer your assistance in some way
3) Treat others the way you want to be treated
4) When someone doesn't like something you said or did, STOP especially if he/she is a friend
5) When a friend/relative sends you a message via email, phone, social media respond as quickly as you can. Don't ignore the person for days without some sort of reply like "I will get back to you on that."
6) When a friend is in need of a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear, drop something and help her/him. You don't need to move a mountain to help a friend.
7) Respect each other's differences. If you don't agree, oh well. But don't shoot them down just so you can feel better about your stand on the matter. Or try to change their mind when it's clear they don't want to. Know when to stop.
I realize that many of us have grown up differently under different circumstances. This doesn't mean our present/future has to mirror our past. I've been blessed to grow up in a loving home, with food on the table every night and parents to come home to. Not everyone had/has that. At the same time, this is no excuse for some of us to treat others like we were treated by our drunk fathers or incompetent mothers etc. Don't let your circumstances ruin your chance at a happy life. Don't let your past ruin your present. Be the best {insert your name here} you can be. With each passing day, be nicer, be more understanding, be more loving.
Side Note: Truly loving someone doesn't mean only when it's good for you. Real love means sacrifice, commitment and understanding. Don't jump ship the first moment of trouble. Work it out. Give a little. Help each other grow and love each other more :) <3 nbsp="" p="">
Sunday, January 18, 2015
My Own Life Hack!
So on one of my favorite shows, Blue Bloods, Pop says the most astounding truth.
"Back then, Family was the original Department of Health, Education and Welfare. When that falls apart, everything goes to hell."
So much truth in that statement! If we look back on our country's history, the trouble with single parent families, children having children, people on welfare that have no business being on it, kids not understanding what respect is and a host of other issues we face today, we didn't have long ago. Why is that? Maybe it's because we had stricter rules? Maybe it's because families tried harder to stay together? Maybe it's because we weren't so worried about what everyone else thinks?
I remember a Cosby episode where a friend of Dr. Huxtable had a daughter who was into drugs. The friend asked Dr. Huxtable how come his kids weren't into that? How did he keep that away from your kids? You know what he said? "I don't know." If my parents were asked that question, they'd probably answer, "God protected them." But I think in addition to that to being the case, my sister and I knew the difference between right and wrong from an early age. We knew that if we went against that we'd not only grieve them but God himself. Now, this isn't to say we are in any way perfect. I know I'm not. I don't always stay within the lines drawn by my parents, but I do however draw my own. I'm not a whatever goes kind of girl. Personally, I believe we all need to have, at the very least, our own moral code to guide us. If we have no one to answer to or have nothing to believe in, who cares how we live our lives? To me, this is the root of our problems.
To families, stick together, love each other no matter what, take care of each other, share advice, BE THERE!
To individuals, be a friend first, share responsibilities, love each other, put someone else first, BE YOURSELF!
--The olden days were indeed better in a lot of ways.
"Back then, Family was the original Department of Health, Education and Welfare. When that falls apart, everything goes to hell."
So much truth in that statement! If we look back on our country's history, the trouble with single parent families, children having children, people on welfare that have no business being on it, kids not understanding what respect is and a host of other issues we face today, we didn't have long ago. Why is that? Maybe it's because we had stricter rules? Maybe it's because families tried harder to stay together? Maybe it's because we weren't so worried about what everyone else thinks?
I remember a Cosby episode where a friend of Dr. Huxtable had a daughter who was into drugs. The friend asked Dr. Huxtable how come his kids weren't into that? How did he keep that away from your kids? You know what he said? "I don't know." If my parents were asked that question, they'd probably answer, "God protected them." But I think in addition to that to being the case, my sister and I knew the difference between right and wrong from an early age. We knew that if we went against that we'd not only grieve them but God himself. Now, this isn't to say we are in any way perfect. I know I'm not. I don't always stay within the lines drawn by my parents, but I do however draw my own. I'm not a whatever goes kind of girl. Personally, I believe we all need to have, at the very least, our own moral code to guide us. If we have no one to answer to or have nothing to believe in, who cares how we live our lives? To me, this is the root of our problems.
To families, stick together, love each other no matter what, take care of each other, share advice, BE THERE!
To individuals, be a friend first, share responsibilities, love each other, put someone else first, BE YOURSELF!
--The olden days were indeed better in a lot of ways.
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