This may come off as a bit of a rant.
For those who know, I am both Deaf and black. This is a unique and annoying combination because I can't find a black Deaf guy. Even when looking for simply a black guy, they are all into white girls. Like really?!
Now I am not against interracial dating. I've done it before but now that I am older and looking for more than just "let's have fun for a few weeks" kind of relationship, I don't want someone who's background is the polar opposite of mine. So I really don't want to date a hearing white guy unless he's a CODA, SODA or an interpreter.
FYI, CODA means Child OF Deaf Adult and SODA means Sibling Of Deaf Adult.
I'd rather date someone closer to where I am at than have to teach him about Deaf culture or Black culture. You see what I'm saying.
At any rate, I should probably just go back to dating international black guys. That always works! lol It's been about 7 years since I dated an American anyway.
Anyone have any suggestions? lol
Sunday, June 16, 2019
Monday, November 12, 2018
Open Mindedness and Closed Mindedness
This has been on my mind for a while now.
Once, when I was looking for a new roommate, I posted on Denver Roommates FB page and a man replied asking if I was ok with living with him and his wife. I answered him saying that I was not comfortable with that and thanked him for responding. He replied back with, "Why not?" I answered saying that this was a two bedroom/ one bathroom apartment and I didn't feel comfortable with that situation. He became a little aggressive and said, "But we aren't fake married, we really are married." Not sure why he thought this was why I said no. I replied telling him again that I'd rather live with just a female and not a married couple, fake or not. He replied with "You're just closed-minded! You won't help a young couple who needs housing!" I was shocked. I still don't understand where his aggression came from. Maybe he was stressed? I tried to be polite the whole time and I didn't use all caps in any of my responses. I replied telling him that I would be happy to help him look around to see if someplace else was a better fit. I also told him that just because I don't agree with you or am comfortable with what you want to do doesn't mean I'm closed minded, it just means I have a different opinion.
Why is it that so many people feel that when someone disagrees with them they are automatically closed-minded? If someone was stubborn to try a new idea even though it could work, is that closed-mindedness? I might say yes, but most of the time when people use the word, that's not what they mean.
Then there are people who call themselves open-minded but really they are only open-minded to things that they agree with. Personally, I feel like if you're going to call yourself open-minded, you should be able to listen to another perspective or opinion on any given topic. I'm not asking everyone to understand it because believe me that are plenty of issues I don't understand. I am however trying to listen to other points of views and asking questions about why they believe what they believe instead of dismissing them based on something I don't like or agree with. For example, that person is white so why should I listen to them? That person is Republican/Democrat so, therefore, everything they say is stupid. That person has a disability so I don't want to be around them. The list goes on. It's sad, really.
Now is there such a thing as being too open-minded? I think so. I think if we because open to anything and everything the media feeds us, we become mindless. If we believe everything a Democrat says simply because he's a Democrat -- we become mindless. If we don't do the research before any election or when someone accuses someone of rape or murder -- we become susceptible. Meaning, anything anyone throws at us, we believe without giving it much thought. In a perfect world, I wish people would take the time to get to know and listen to a person of a different race, mindset and/or ability.
Let's all listen more to each other instead of tearing each other down.
Once, when I was looking for a new roommate, I posted on Denver Roommates FB page and a man replied asking if I was ok with living with him and his wife. I answered him saying that I was not comfortable with that and thanked him for responding. He replied back with, "Why not?" I answered saying that this was a two bedroom/ one bathroom apartment and I didn't feel comfortable with that situation. He became a little aggressive and said, "But we aren't fake married, we really are married." Not sure why he thought this was why I said no. I replied telling him again that I'd rather live with just a female and not a married couple, fake or not. He replied with "You're just closed-minded! You won't help a young couple who needs housing!" I was shocked. I still don't understand where his aggression came from. Maybe he was stressed? I tried to be polite the whole time and I didn't use all caps in any of my responses. I replied telling him that I would be happy to help him look around to see if someplace else was a better fit. I also told him that just because I don't agree with you or am comfortable with what you want to do doesn't mean I'm closed minded, it just means I have a different opinion.
Why is it that so many people feel that when someone disagrees with them they are automatically closed-minded? If someone was stubborn to try a new idea even though it could work, is that closed-mindedness? I might say yes, but most of the time when people use the word, that's not what they mean.
Then there are people who call themselves open-minded but really they are only open-minded to things that they agree with. Personally, I feel like if you're going to call yourself open-minded, you should be able to listen to another perspective or opinion on any given topic. I'm not asking everyone to understand it because believe me that are plenty of issues I don't understand. I am however trying to listen to other points of views and asking questions about why they believe what they believe instead of dismissing them based on something I don't like or agree with. For example, that person is white so why should I listen to them? That person is Republican/Democrat so, therefore, everything they say is stupid. That person has a disability so I don't want to be around them. The list goes on. It's sad, really.
Now is there such a thing as being too open-minded? I think so. I think if we because open to anything and everything the media feeds us, we become mindless. If we believe everything a Democrat says simply because he's a Democrat -- we become mindless. If we don't do the research before any election or when someone accuses someone of rape or murder -- we become susceptible. Meaning, anything anyone throws at us, we believe without giving it much thought. In a perfect world, I wish people would take the time to get to know and listen to a person of a different race, mindset and/or ability.
Let's all listen more to each other instead of tearing each other down.
Saturday, May 19, 2018
Right Where God Wants Me
Six months ago, I was a mess, inside and out. I had just finished my AmeriCorps service year and I had no idea what was next. It was both exciting and frightening. I felt that I should stay in Denver to see what else this city had to offer in the sense of friendships and job opportunities. I loved the vibrant scene and enjoyed the festivals. The friends I had made over the past year were those I didn't want to leave just yet. I loved the neighborhood I was in and wanted to stay. I didn't see a reason to move so I waited for God's leading.
Well, as some of you have experienced, God's leading isn't always crystal clear nor is it always fast. While I was nervous, I felt confident enough that Denver was the place for me. Sure, I still have dreams about whether or not I will ever have a hacienda in New Mexico complete with horses and wide open fields for miles. That was a childhood dream, but it's a nice one.
I worked part-time for what felt like an eternity at a sandwich shop. The boss there was not accommodating nor did she seem to really care about her employees the way I feel like she should have. Many employers I've had have created a safe place for their employees and encouraged us to talk to them at any time. I never felt comfortable talking with the boss at the sandwich shop about anything.
On top of dealing with her, I also felt an inner war going on because of how badly I wanted to get back to using my degree. I felt like I was going nowhere. There had to be more to my life than making sandwiches all day. I tried to focus on writing cover letters as well as hanging out with friends. When money is low and you have rent to pay and food to eat, you really can't do a whole lot since so many activities require having $20 to spend. Most of the time I had to count my pennies to make sure I had enough for rent.
January was the worst. I honestly didn't think I would make rent. However, due to God's provision, I was able to with some to spare on food and a bus pass. The way that it worked out was through two things; one -- a friend from church bought me food from the grocery store and two -- I had no heat in my bedroom for two months so the landlord took $100 off rent for February. If neither of those things happened, I would have had to call the landlord and say I can only pay so much and will try to get the rest soon. But I didn't have to do that.
Switches jobs to work at the Children's Museum is something I wish I had done sooner. My boss, there was awesome! I loved working there and I miss it today. I felt appreciated and supported which meant so much to me. It's definitely a place I would go back to given the right opportunity.
The job that took me away from there was a Grants and Database Coordinator position at Urban Peak where I am now. I've been there two months now and I can see that this is 100% without a doubt orchestrated by God my Father. I can hardly believe the pieces that fell into place. My boss, Katherine, she has a son who is Deaf. My other boss, Peggy, she's aware of what I need without me saying a whole lot about my hearing. I almost cried when she said, "Feel free to stop me or someone else in a meeting if you miss something." I have a coworker with hearing aids too. I have another coworker who is a writer. It's been a whirlwind two months but I am glad I'm with Urban Peak right now. It was worth the wait.
Well, as some of you have experienced, God's leading isn't always crystal clear nor is it always fast. While I was nervous, I felt confident enough that Denver was the place for me. Sure, I still have dreams about whether or not I will ever have a hacienda in New Mexico complete with horses and wide open fields for miles. That was a childhood dream, but it's a nice one.
I worked part-time for what felt like an eternity at a sandwich shop. The boss there was not accommodating nor did she seem to really care about her employees the way I feel like she should have. Many employers I've had have created a safe place for their employees and encouraged us to talk to them at any time. I never felt comfortable talking with the boss at the sandwich shop about anything.
On top of dealing with her, I also felt an inner war going on because of how badly I wanted to get back to using my degree. I felt like I was going nowhere. There had to be more to my life than making sandwiches all day. I tried to focus on writing cover letters as well as hanging out with friends. When money is low and you have rent to pay and food to eat, you really can't do a whole lot since so many activities require having $20 to spend. Most of the time I had to count my pennies to make sure I had enough for rent.
January was the worst. I honestly didn't think I would make rent. However, due to God's provision, I was able to with some to spare on food and a bus pass. The way that it worked out was through two things; one -- a friend from church bought me food from the grocery store and two -- I had no heat in my bedroom for two months so the landlord took $100 off rent for February. If neither of those things happened, I would have had to call the landlord and say I can only pay so much and will try to get the rest soon. But I didn't have to do that.
Switches jobs to work at the Children's Museum is something I wish I had done sooner. My boss, there was awesome! I loved working there and I miss it today. I felt appreciated and supported which meant so much to me. It's definitely a place I would go back to given the right opportunity.
The job that took me away from there was a Grants and Database Coordinator position at Urban Peak where I am now. I've been there two months now and I can see that this is 100% without a doubt orchestrated by God my Father. I can hardly believe the pieces that fell into place. My boss, Katherine, she has a son who is Deaf. My other boss, Peggy, she's aware of what I need without me saying a whole lot about my hearing. I almost cried when she said, "Feel free to stop me or someone else in a meeting if you miss something." I have a coworker with hearing aids too. I have another coworker who is a writer. It's been a whirlwind two months but I am glad I'm with Urban Peak right now. It was worth the wait.
Tuesday, October 10, 2017
A Word about The Good Doctor
Tonight, I watched the first episode of The Good Doctor and I have to say, I'm in love! Never have I seen a show about someone with a disability and it's POSITIVE! This is exactly what we need! So many tears flooded my eyes while watching this and I hope it only gets better.
For those who don't know, this show is about a young surgical resident who has autism. He is brilliant beyond measure and I love that they explain what going on in his head through pictures. It's fascinating. While I still have no desire to work in a hospital or have anything to do with practicing medicine, I love this show.
There were two scenes that jumped out at me. One of them was in the boardroom when the president of the hospital spoke about why he wanted to hire this young man, Shaun. The next scene I liked also takes place in the boardroom towards the end of the episode where Shaun gets a chance to speak. In both, I thought I was going to cry.
Too many people in this world are like the surgeon who told Shaun, "You don't belong here." Too many people act like those who are different, those with disabilities don't belong. I'm tired of it! We all have aspirations, gifts, desires and we should be allowed to pursue our dreams! No one should tell another person, "They don't belong." No.
Shaun belongs in surgery. I belong as a writer. We all belong somewhere. I encourage everyone to find out where that is :)
For those who don't know, this show is about a young surgical resident who has autism. He is brilliant beyond measure and I love that they explain what going on in his head through pictures. It's fascinating. While I still have no desire to work in a hospital or have anything to do with practicing medicine, I love this show.
There were two scenes that jumped out at me. One of them was in the boardroom when the president of the hospital spoke about why he wanted to hire this young man, Shaun. The next scene I liked also takes place in the boardroom towards the end of the episode where Shaun gets a chance to speak. In both, I thought I was going to cry.
Too many people in this world are like the surgeon who told Shaun, "You don't belong here." Too many people act like those who are different, those with disabilities don't belong. I'm tired of it! We all have aspirations, gifts, desires and we should be allowed to pursue our dreams! No one should tell another person, "They don't belong." No.
Shaun belongs in surgery. I belong as a writer. We all belong somewhere. I encourage everyone to find out where that is :)
Monday, March 13, 2017
What is Right?
Recently, I've been having multiple conversations on what is right in God's eyes verses the world. A couple nights ago, I was watching the new show Chicago Justice and in this particular episode Stone, a prosecutor, tells Hank Voight, the Commanding Officer of the team in Intelligence, "Having a right and doing what's right are completely two different things."
This hit home for me for many reasons. In the world we live in today, many people have a twisted view on what's right. Many feel that "what's right" should be or could be different for everyone and that there's no absolute truth. Just because we have a right to do whatever it is that makes ourselves happy, doesn't mean it's right to do. As Americans we have many rights, but we have to be careful not to abuse them.
The reason why Stone says this is because Voight wanted to testify giving his side of the story. However, Stone knows it's a complete lie and doesn't want to put him on the stand. Sure, it's Voight's right to testify if he wants, but is it the right thing to do in this case? No, it's not.
Sometimes we have to ask ourselves the hard questions like, "Will this hurt someone else? Could my reputation be ruined if someone finds out the truth?" We have to be responsible human beings and think beyond ourselves. If we don't, we could get ourselves or others into trouble.
Think before you exercise a right is all I ask.
This hit home for me for many reasons. In the world we live in today, many people have a twisted view on what's right. Many feel that "what's right" should be or could be different for everyone and that there's no absolute truth. Just because we have a right to do whatever it is that makes ourselves happy, doesn't mean it's right to do. As Americans we have many rights, but we have to be careful not to abuse them.
The reason why Stone says this is because Voight wanted to testify giving his side of the story. However, Stone knows it's a complete lie and doesn't want to put him on the stand. Sure, it's Voight's right to testify if he wants, but is it the right thing to do in this case? No, it's not.
Sometimes we have to ask ourselves the hard questions like, "Will this hurt someone else? Could my reputation be ruined if someone finds out the truth?" We have to be responsible human beings and think beyond ourselves. If we don't, we could get ourselves or others into trouble.
Think before you exercise a right is all I ask.
Saturday, January 28, 2017
Keep Going
Last week's episode of NCIS hit me right in the feels. Not many shows/movies make me cry in a good way. I have to say that this one, Keep Going, really got me thinking about my failures, the way I look at myself as well as the ups and downs I've been through in life.
Ryan, a son of a Naval Captain, stands on a ledge ready to jump when Mr. Palmer, the M.E. Assistant runs up to stop him without thinking twice about his own safety. He doesn't tell his team what he sees, just runs up to the top floor of the building and grabs Ryan by the belt. The young boy tries several times to get Mr. Palmer to let go but he refuses. My heart practically stopped several times. Just seeing the firemen, police and ambulances through their eyes was horrifying. (I don't often admit I'm deathly scared of heights).
While trying to talk Ryan out of jumping, the conversation made me think about what I went through several times over the last ten years. There have been plenty of times when I compared myself to social media. Mr. Palmer was right when he said that people only show their highlights. They don't show their bad days. So many times I've scrolled through Instagram and seen people's vacations and pictures with friends when I didn't have any. For so long, I had no highlights I wanted to share.
Another phrase that stuck with me, Ducky said, "If you're going through hell, keep going." Life isn't a bed of roses all the time. Not for the President, not for my parents, not for my friends -- certainly not for me. We should "opt for happiness," as Mr. Palmer mentioned to Ryan. I want to be happy. Do you? Sure, there are times when life gets us down but that shouldn't t be a reason to give up. I've wanted several times, believe me, but I've come to realize that when a door closes another one opens. A great number of doors have closed just in the past two years and I still refuse to give up on my dreams. Mr. Palmer never gave up on his. He wanted to become a doctor and he did! He failed the test twice, but he succeeded on his third try.
I'm still shaking my head in disbelief that Mr. Palmer saved Ryan's life. I have no idea if I would ever have the guts to go out on a ledge twelve stories high. That night, I think both of them learned something. I know I did.
Life is precious, don't waste it. Strive to be the best person you can be. If you want good friends, first be a good friend. Love is shown all sorts of ways -- just might not be what we expect. Blaming yourself for everything that goes bad only creates loneliness. Last but not least, don't quit. :)
Ryan, a son of a Naval Captain, stands on a ledge ready to jump when Mr. Palmer, the M.E. Assistant runs up to stop him without thinking twice about his own safety. He doesn't tell his team what he sees, just runs up to the top floor of the building and grabs Ryan by the belt. The young boy tries several times to get Mr. Palmer to let go but he refuses. My heart practically stopped several times. Just seeing the firemen, police and ambulances through their eyes was horrifying. (I don't often admit I'm deathly scared of heights).
While trying to talk Ryan out of jumping, the conversation made me think about what I went through several times over the last ten years. There have been plenty of times when I compared myself to social media. Mr. Palmer was right when he said that people only show their highlights. They don't show their bad days. So many times I've scrolled through Instagram and seen people's vacations and pictures with friends when I didn't have any. For so long, I had no highlights I wanted to share.
Another phrase that stuck with me, Ducky said, "If you're going through hell, keep going." Life isn't a bed of roses all the time. Not for the President, not for my parents, not for my friends -- certainly not for me. We should "opt for happiness," as Mr. Palmer mentioned to Ryan. I want to be happy. Do you? Sure, there are times when life gets us down but that shouldn't t be a reason to give up. I've wanted several times, believe me, but I've come to realize that when a door closes another one opens. A great number of doors have closed just in the past two years and I still refuse to give up on my dreams. Mr. Palmer never gave up on his. He wanted to become a doctor and he did! He failed the test twice, but he succeeded on his third try.
I'm still shaking my head in disbelief that Mr. Palmer saved Ryan's life. I have no idea if I would ever have the guts to go out on a ledge twelve stories high. That night, I think both of them learned something. I know I did.
Life is precious, don't waste it. Strive to be the best person you can be. If you want good friends, first be a good friend. Love is shown all sorts of ways -- just might not be what we expect. Blaming yourself for everything that goes bad only creates loneliness. Last but not least, don't quit. :)
Saturday, December 3, 2016
The Right Thing Isn't Always Easy
If doing the right thing was easy, we'd all be doing it everyday. However, because it isn't, very often we'd rather not and choose to do the thing that's wrong because it's easier.
You all know already that I love to talk about TV shows that teach something. One of them is Blue Bloods, and while I'm not a Catholic I do agree with many topics of conversation that happen around the Reagan family dinner table or side discussions. Last night's episode was a rerun, but I still managed to take away something.
"It's hard to know what to do when you're not sure what the right thing is." When the PC, Frank Reagan, said this to his daughter, Erin, they both knew what the right thing was. The truth of the statement remains the same; doing the right thing is hard and in the situation with Erin, she could lose her job. I don't want to spoil the ending for those who don't watch this show but might watch it later, so all I will say is that she did what was right despite her opposition.
In my life now, I face the question, what is the right thing to do? My heart is in so much pain and I don't want it to cloud my judgement. Forming relationships of any kind have been tough since the beginning especially lasting ones. I know I'm different. I know I'm sensitive, but I also know that I care a lot. Sometimes that seems to mean that it's inevitable that I will get hurt. Humans disappoint and I have to remind myself of that daily as well as not to expect so much. In my mind, I have a vision of what a good friendship looks like. While everyone has a different perspective on what love is or what respect is, I can't devalue my values simply because few people understand or respect my views.
Another awesome quote (from Instagram, not a TV show), "You don't gotta drop it low if you raise your standards." How true is that!? I shouldn't have to disregard my values simply because the person I want to have a friendship or relationship with doesn't agree.
My sister and I don't see eye to eye anymore and that doesn't mean I should let go of my beliefs. Just means I can't expect the same relationship we had growing up. We need to find common ground elsewhere. When that will happen, I have no idea. How to go about forging a new relationship with her, I have no idea. What the right thing is to do concerning my sister, I have no idea. I do know that no matter how many fights we have or tears we shed, we are still sisters. It will take time to figure out what the right thing is, but that shouldn't stop us from trying.
You all know already that I love to talk about TV shows that teach something. One of them is Blue Bloods, and while I'm not a Catholic I do agree with many topics of conversation that happen around the Reagan family dinner table or side discussions. Last night's episode was a rerun, but I still managed to take away something.
"It's hard to know what to do when you're not sure what the right thing is." When the PC, Frank Reagan, said this to his daughter, Erin, they both knew what the right thing was. The truth of the statement remains the same; doing the right thing is hard and in the situation with Erin, she could lose her job. I don't want to spoil the ending for those who don't watch this show but might watch it later, so all I will say is that she did what was right despite her opposition.
In my life now, I face the question, what is the right thing to do? My heart is in so much pain and I don't want it to cloud my judgement. Forming relationships of any kind have been tough since the beginning especially lasting ones. I know I'm different. I know I'm sensitive, but I also know that I care a lot. Sometimes that seems to mean that it's inevitable that I will get hurt. Humans disappoint and I have to remind myself of that daily as well as not to expect so much. In my mind, I have a vision of what a good friendship looks like. While everyone has a different perspective on what love is or what respect is, I can't devalue my values simply because few people understand or respect my views.
Another awesome quote (from Instagram, not a TV show), "You don't gotta drop it low if you raise your standards." How true is that!? I shouldn't have to disregard my values simply because the person I want to have a friendship or relationship with doesn't agree.
My sister and I don't see eye to eye anymore and that doesn't mean I should let go of my beliefs. Just means I can't expect the same relationship we had growing up. We need to find common ground elsewhere. When that will happen, I have no idea. How to go about forging a new relationship with her, I have no idea. What the right thing is to do concerning my sister, I have no idea. I do know that no matter how many fights we have or tears we shed, we are still sisters. It will take time to figure out what the right thing is, but that shouldn't stop us from trying.
Tuesday, November 15, 2016
Be You
Funny, how movies I've seen a bunch of times still manages to teach me something new. Mom's Night Out is a crazy fun movie to watch full of laughs but when Bones, a stranger turned friend of Allyson's says something profound, it really makes one stop and think. Have any of you felt like everything you did wasn't enough? Have you felt worthless to your friends, family and maybe even to God? Since I've moved, I've felt that way hundreds of times. I try so hard to make friends and so many toss me to the curb or treat me with disrespect. Sometimes I feel like giving up and just trying a new city altogether, but then I meet new people and my heart feels light again.
Bones, not a man of God, said this..."He loves you, Charles. No matter who you are or what you do or how far you run. Jesus will always be loving you with his arms open wide just for being you."
It's crazy how often we think we have to earn His love or be someone we're not in order for others to like us. He created us as individuals and He does NOT make mistakes. He could have made us all robots but He didn't....for a reason. We each bring something unique into this world, our families and friends.
Being me took so long to come out, but when I do share my stories and be myself, I've found that some will accept and some will reject. Very often those who reject you isn't a reflection of how awful of a person you are but rather a reflection of how immature they are or unwilling to see your point of view. If you are true to yourself, respectful towards others I can't believe you'll never find people who will love you for who you are. God certainly will never stop loving you, we can always count on that.
God made each animal differently too, an eagle for example, cares for its young like its supposed to. It's a beautiful thing because its doing exactly what God wants.
We beat ourselves up trying to be someone/something else. STOP! PLEASE! Be you! Be the person God made you to be and you will be much happier. :)
Bones, not a man of God, said this..."He loves you, Charles. No matter who you are or what you do or how far you run. Jesus will always be loving you with his arms open wide just for being you."
It's crazy how often we think we have to earn His love or be someone we're not in order for others to like us. He created us as individuals and He does NOT make mistakes. He could have made us all robots but He didn't....for a reason. We each bring something unique into this world, our families and friends.
Being me took so long to come out, but when I do share my stories and be myself, I've found that some will accept and some will reject. Very often those who reject you isn't a reflection of how awful of a person you are but rather a reflection of how immature they are or unwilling to see your point of view. If you are true to yourself, respectful towards others I can't believe you'll never find people who will love you for who you are. God certainly will never stop loving you, we can always count on that.
God made each animal differently too, an eagle for example, cares for its young like its supposed to. It's a beautiful thing because its doing exactly what God wants.
We beat ourselves up trying to be someone/something else. STOP! PLEASE! Be you! Be the person God made you to be and you will be much happier. :)
Saturday, October 22, 2016
Keep On Diving
The first two episodes in season 2 of Supergirl have been more in depth and coincidentally things I really needed to hear. Cat Grant is an amazing character and I love the pearls of wisdom she gives out to Kara and others around her. I think this was the first time where she took her own advice. We shall see what happens with that in the coming episodes.
Cat Grant tells Kara to keep on diving to find out what she wants in life. In the two months since moving to Denver, I've had highs and super lows. Obviously, there is no place on earth that is perfect and no stage of life where everything is rosy all the time. However, when numerous sad/bad things happen all in a row, it begs the question of what am I really doing here? Was it a mistake to move and strike out on my own? I've given both those questions and more a whole lot of thought.While it is tough being alone, trying to make new friends and juggling responsibilities, it's rewarding in some ways. I do like being on my own versus relying on others. I can buy the food I want, go to festivals, invite friends over or just chill all night watching NCIS. It's part of growing up and like it or not....that's what I'm doing.
Kara mentioned to Cat Grant that she finally knew what she wanted to be, a reporter because it challenges her and makes her a better version of herself. I think everyone should strive to get to that place in life. We should evaluate our lives from time to time and see where we are and ask where we want to go. I honestly have no idea how to answer that question. For so long, I've known what I wanted to do but since junior year of college I've wondered what else beyond just being a writer is out there for me. Now, I refuse to be a reporter. I know that's not the way to go, however what kind of writing besides novel makes me happy? Makes me a better version of myself? That I do not know, but I will find out!
Find what motivates you. Find what makes you happy to get out of that warm bed. Keep on diving!
Cat Grant tells Kara to keep on diving to find out what she wants in life. In the two months since moving to Denver, I've had highs and super lows. Obviously, there is no place on earth that is perfect and no stage of life where everything is rosy all the time. However, when numerous sad/bad things happen all in a row, it begs the question of what am I really doing here? Was it a mistake to move and strike out on my own? I've given both those questions and more a whole lot of thought.While it is tough being alone, trying to make new friends and juggling responsibilities, it's rewarding in some ways. I do like being on my own versus relying on others. I can buy the food I want, go to festivals, invite friends over or just chill all night watching NCIS. It's part of growing up and like it or not....that's what I'm doing.
Kara mentioned to Cat Grant that she finally knew what she wanted to be, a reporter because it challenges her and makes her a better version of herself. I think everyone should strive to get to that place in life. We should evaluate our lives from time to time and see where we are and ask where we want to go. I honestly have no idea how to answer that question. For so long, I've known what I wanted to do but since junior year of college I've wondered what else beyond just being a writer is out there for me. Now, I refuse to be a reporter. I know that's not the way to go, however what kind of writing besides novel makes me happy? Makes me a better version of myself? That I do not know, but I will find out!
Find what motivates you. Find what makes you happy to get out of that warm bed. Keep on diving!
Sunday, October 2, 2016
Dare to Defy
I'm really sad that Supergirl moved to the CW instead of being on CBS again this coming season. Don't have cable in my apartment and the CW doesn't offer captions with their online streaming, as far as I know. This show has caused me to think about my life in different ways -- good ways. The lessons I've learned I've posted on this blog for the last year and I had hoped to do it again, but I may not be able to. Once these are on DVD though, I will be sure to get them. I love how clean this show is and I hope it will continue to be so, but I won't hold my breath.
Dare to Defy is her motto and I've been thinking about this a lot because I still struggle how to identify myself sometimes. There are days/weeks where I know who I am and refuse to let someone pull me or make me second-guess myself. Then there are other times where I feel like crying; like I'm starting all over again.
I don't feel African American nor Deaf. I know based on my skin color, I am. I know based on my degree of hearing loss, I am. However, very often I am not accepted in either of those groups. Mind you, there are those who do and I'm grateful for them. I didn't grow up in a predominantly black neighborhood. I didn't grow up with ASL. I'm not "down with it" nor am I fluent in ASL. I have quite a few white friends, Asian friends, friends of the African persuasion, hearing friends and Deaf friends. I like being around all of them. I especially enjoy being able to be myself around them. I don't have to talk like I'm from the Bronx or pretend I can fingerspell like lightening.
When people ask me if I've watched the Color Purple or The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and when I say, "No," I'm greeted with a look that says, "Exccuuuuuse me?!" People ask me whether I'm Deaf or not and when I say I am deaf, they're not sure if I'm telling the truth. "Are you really Deaf or are you really hard-of-hearing?" Today, that question threw me. For so long I struggled with how to identify myself in that manner. At first it was, no I'm not Deaf because in my mind I thought Deaf meant I was stupid. The way hearing people referred to me in high school was as if I was stupid. There are many things I can't hear without my hearing aids. With them, I can understand the world around me better so in a way with them I become hard-of-hearing. At the same time, I'm not sure I like that term. While I didn't grow up D/deaf at all, I refer to myself as deaf (not Deaf) because I didn't grow up with ASL or understanding Deaf Culture. I grew up in a hearing environment and was taught how to speak.
I don't like feeling on the fence and I wish I could just be one and be done with it. No questions asked. I don't like having to defend how I label myself. I don't even like labeling myself at all. Dare to defy has such a deeper meaning for me. Even if others try to put me in a box, I won't fit. I refuse to fit.
The Most Hated Religions of the 21st Century
I see these Coexist bumper stickers everywhere and people going on and on about acceptance instead of hate. Why is it ok to hate Muslims, but it's not ok to hate gay people? While I don't believe we should hate anyone for any reason, some people follow this absurd logic. While acceptance shouldn't be pushed so much, I believe respect should instead.
This topic has been on my mind for quite some time. Muslims and Christians, people hate beyond words and I wish people could show more respect...actually respect at all. I also wish that the media would stop blowing things out of proportion and/or giving us half if not only a quarter of the whole story. It's because of this fear/hatred of Muslim's in particular we get so antsy when we see someone wearing a hijab in an airport, on a bus or simply walking into a store. I don't like it. I wish I could stop thinking the worst when I see these people. There are many innocent Muslims who follow their religion as Allah actually instructed. They aren't radicals. They are simply individuals who want a better life for themselves and their children.
In the world of Christianity, many people hate not only the religion, but the philosophy, way of life and the person behind it all. Gods has rules for us and specific guidelines for His people. Real Christians are the ones who actually follow them. For instance, not swearing/taking God's name in vain. Someone who truly wants to be closer to God won't utter those kinds of words and if they do by accident, they will show regret. Like everyone else, Christians make mistakes and I think as individuals whether we follow Christianity or not should be aware of this and be mindful of this fact.
Muslims and Christians have quite a few things in common such as how much the religions governs our way of life. Both groups attend church/mosque on a regular basis, if they are true to their beliefs. They also desire to honor their God by living the right way based on what their Holy Book says. There are hundreds of people who call themselves Muslims or Christians, but until you look at their lives, you can't take that at face value. They may not be true to their religion. I don't understand how/why people call themselves Christians when all they really do that's even close to what Christ preaches is go to church every so often. As if that give them God points or something. NO! Being a Christian is about following Christ. If you don't obey His commands on a daily basis, what are you really? If you call yourself a Muslim, but kill innocent people left and right, what are you really? You're just a human being who isn't a true follower. Neither Allah nor Christ teaches that it's ok to be complacent or pick and choose whatever rules you want to follow and still call yourself a true follower.
So why do we hate Christians and Muslims? In my opinion, it's because the belies are so close to the heart and daily life. It effects how we talk, where we go and who we interact with. True believers want to do what's right and the rest of the world wants to do whatever feels good at the time. As our society goes farther away from treating everyone with respect regardless of whether or not you agree with them, both these religions will never seek peace. While neither are persecuted like they are in some other countries, they do live in fear. Fear of ridicule, fear of being ignored and fear of being losing friends/family.
Stop hating on others for what they believe. There are plenty of issues I don't see eye to eye with individuals, but I don't hate a person who is Pro-Abortion/Choice. I don't hate the person who thinks pushing uni-sex bathrooms for the 1% of the population that calls themselves transgender is a good thing. I really don't like it when people call themselves Christians or any other religion and don't even follow the basic teachings. Sure, we have set-backs and months/years where we've desensitized ourselves to the point where we don't even realize we aren't true. It happens and I hope someone in your life cares enough about you to point that out so that you can change for the better and become the person God wants you to be.
Don't hate. Appreciate our differences no matter who we choose to vote for, what god we follow or side of the issue we stand.
This topic has been on my mind for quite some time. Muslims and Christians, people hate beyond words and I wish people could show more respect...actually respect at all. I also wish that the media would stop blowing things out of proportion and/or giving us half if not only a quarter of the whole story. It's because of this fear/hatred of Muslim's in particular we get so antsy when we see someone wearing a hijab in an airport, on a bus or simply walking into a store. I don't like it. I wish I could stop thinking the worst when I see these people. There are many innocent Muslims who follow their religion as Allah actually instructed. They aren't radicals. They are simply individuals who want a better life for themselves and their children.
In the world of Christianity, many people hate not only the religion, but the philosophy, way of life and the person behind it all. Gods has rules for us and specific guidelines for His people. Real Christians are the ones who actually follow them. For instance, not swearing/taking God's name in vain. Someone who truly wants to be closer to God won't utter those kinds of words and if they do by accident, they will show regret. Like everyone else, Christians make mistakes and I think as individuals whether we follow Christianity or not should be aware of this and be mindful of this fact.
Muslims and Christians have quite a few things in common such as how much the religions governs our way of life. Both groups attend church/mosque on a regular basis, if they are true to their beliefs. They also desire to honor their God by living the right way based on what their Holy Book says. There are hundreds of people who call themselves Muslims or Christians, but until you look at their lives, you can't take that at face value. They may not be true to their religion. I don't understand how/why people call themselves Christians when all they really do that's even close to what Christ preaches is go to church every so often. As if that give them God points or something. NO! Being a Christian is about following Christ. If you don't obey His commands on a daily basis, what are you really? If you call yourself a Muslim, but kill innocent people left and right, what are you really? You're just a human being who isn't a true follower. Neither Allah nor Christ teaches that it's ok to be complacent or pick and choose whatever rules you want to follow and still call yourself a true follower.
So why do we hate Christians and Muslims? In my opinion, it's because the belies are so close to the heart and daily life. It effects how we talk, where we go and who we interact with. True believers want to do what's right and the rest of the world wants to do whatever feels good at the time. As our society goes farther away from treating everyone with respect regardless of whether or not you agree with them, both these religions will never seek peace. While neither are persecuted like they are in some other countries, they do live in fear. Fear of ridicule, fear of being ignored and fear of being losing friends/family.
Stop hating on others for what they believe. There are plenty of issues I don't see eye to eye with individuals, but I don't hate a person who is Pro-Abortion/Choice. I don't hate the person who thinks pushing uni-sex bathrooms for the 1% of the population that calls themselves transgender is a good thing. I really don't like it when people call themselves Christians or any other religion and don't even follow the basic teachings. Sure, we have set-backs and months/years where we've desensitized ourselves to the point where we don't even realize we aren't true. It happens and I hope someone in your life cares enough about you to point that out so that you can change for the better and become the person God wants you to be.
Don't hate. Appreciate our differences no matter who we choose to vote for, what god we follow or side of the issue we stand.
Saturday, August 27, 2016
The Past Will Rob You If You Let It
Lately, I have been having flash backs from my past. Certain words used to cut me up or hard looks meant to keep me from saying what I really want to say. Sometimes it's just the fact that my friends stood idly by while this all happened. I wonder what would have happened if I knew how to stand up for myself better back then. Though honestly, I think I would have been expelled if I had said or done the things I wanted to. Instead I kept my head down, but I can't help but wonder if I made the right decision.
I've noticed that my past has continued to haunt me in various ways both night and day. Whether or not they were mistakes that I personally made or things that people did to me that have caused me to be more cautious and sometimes down right scared. There are things that I don't want repeated.
I wish I weren't so scared of so many things in life. I wish I could feel more free. On the flip side, as a young woman I realize that it pays to be careful. I don't want to ever have to break a man's nose or use mace, but it's something that many of us have had to do. I don't like being on high alert every time someone walks too close behind me. However, being like that has probably helped me avoid serious problems.
Not letting the past rob me from living my life the way I want to is a struggle. While I don't want to be the cause for getting into trouble, I don't want to be nervous about everything either. It's a growing up process, I know.
God....we have some serious work to do here. Being an adult is hard, but I'm looking forward to becoming the best woman of God I can be.
I've noticed that my past has continued to haunt me in various ways both night and day. Whether or not they were mistakes that I personally made or things that people did to me that have caused me to be more cautious and sometimes down right scared. There are things that I don't want repeated.
I wish I weren't so scared of so many things in life. I wish I could feel more free. On the flip side, as a young woman I realize that it pays to be careful. I don't want to ever have to break a man's nose or use mace, but it's something that many of us have had to do. I don't like being on high alert every time someone walks too close behind me. However, being like that has probably helped me avoid serious problems.
Not letting the past rob me from living my life the way I want to is a struggle. While I don't want to be the cause for getting into trouble, I don't want to be nervous about everything either. It's a growing up process, I know.
God....we have some serious work to do here. Being an adult is hard, but I'm looking forward to becoming the best woman of God I can be.
Thursday, July 21, 2016
The Person With A Gun
As you are all well aware, there have been multiple shootings in various cities across the nation. In the past week or two, it's been cop shootings following the deaths of many black individuals.
Being an African American, I hope no one will accuse me of being racist or uneducated when I say that it pays to look at the whole picture. For instance, the videos of Alton Sterling that are circulating the internet don't really give a clear picture who was in the right or who was in the wrong. There are conflicting accounts as to if he was holding a gun or not. My point is that we shouldn't rush to conclusions and assume police brutality because the man shot was black and the man who shot him wore blue.
Now, should we be outraged when it is indeed police brutality and/or when unnecessary force is used, YES! This doesn't mean, however, we as Americans/African Americans/black people should start yelling at the cops, killing them and being disrespectful. Both sides need to be able to respect the other before assuming things based on skin color or uniform. Just like not every black person is the same, not every cop is the same.
No matter who dies via gun shot(s) makes me sad. However, not all shootings are unjust. If the perpetrator is holding a gun or something that looks like a gun, I'm not surprised when the cop or other person takes a shot. Running away or taking your sweet old time putting your hands above your head isn't exactly telling the police that you are innocent. The more idiots that do these things or try to get away with breaking the law, the more likely police are going to go into altercations with our race ready to use deadly force. The more idiots in blue that kick black Americans or shoot those who are on the ground, we will view cops as people to fight.
This video makes me so sad because it's people like this who try to taunt and make everything the policeman's fault. They think every policeman is like the idiots who have been proven to be corrupt and racist. Not every cop is like that!
Just remember 9 times our of 10, we don't know the whole story. Who's to blame for that? The media. Not African Americans. Not cops. Let's unite against the real enemy here in this instance.
Being an African American, I hope no one will accuse me of being racist or uneducated when I say that it pays to look at the whole picture. For instance, the videos of Alton Sterling that are circulating the internet don't really give a clear picture who was in the right or who was in the wrong. There are conflicting accounts as to if he was holding a gun or not. My point is that we shouldn't rush to conclusions and assume police brutality because the man shot was black and the man who shot him wore blue.
Now, should we be outraged when it is indeed police brutality and/or when unnecessary force is used, YES! This doesn't mean, however, we as Americans/African Americans/black people should start yelling at the cops, killing them and being disrespectful. Both sides need to be able to respect the other before assuming things based on skin color or uniform. Just like not every black person is the same, not every cop is the same.
No matter who dies via gun shot(s) makes me sad. However, not all shootings are unjust. If the perpetrator is holding a gun or something that looks like a gun, I'm not surprised when the cop or other person takes a shot. Running away or taking your sweet old time putting your hands above your head isn't exactly telling the police that you are innocent. The more idiots that do these things or try to get away with breaking the law, the more likely police are going to go into altercations with our race ready to use deadly force. The more idiots in blue that kick black Americans or shoot those who are on the ground, we will view cops as people to fight.
This video makes me so sad because it's people like this who try to taunt and make everything the policeman's fault. They think every policeman is like the idiots who have been proven to be corrupt and racist. Not every cop is like that!
Just remember 9 times our of 10, we don't know the whole story. Who's to blame for that? The media. Not African Americans. Not cops. Let's unite against the real enemy here in this instance.
Monday, May 23, 2016
Cops vs. the Public
In the Blue Bloods episode, Blowback, the PC makes this comment at the weekly Sunday dinner table, "Somewhere along the line, the trust between cops and the public broke down. But until both sides take steps to restore that trust, neither side is going to be safe."
The whole episode saddened me because of the truth behind not only his words, but also the use of force used by police and the reactions of the public toward them. Even though I didn't grow up in a violent neighborhood, I still feel the anger when a cop shoots what seems to be an unarmed perpetrator. Many times we never know the truth because the truth died with the person who fell onto the pavement. Sometimes we see what we want to see, instead of the whole picture.
In the incident with Perez, while he did have his hands up, a knife was still in his hand after being told to put it down several times. Not only that, but he walked towards the officer who had the gun out. While I think that killing the guy might have been excessive, in the moment there's no telling whether or not if I were in the officer's position that I would have had time to lower my gun in order to hit the perpetrator in the knee or somewhere else non-fatal. There's also no telling that the guy with the knife wouldn't have suddenly lunged at me. So, shooting the guy just might have been the best answer before finding out what could have happened if waited.
There's always more than one side to a story. I don't like the fact that we are distancing ourselves from cops. The way I was raised was to respect the office, the badge and the authority that these cops have. So when I hear the news about a cop shooting, I don't automatically get mad at either side. I research to see if I can find the whole story. Unfortunately, every news source has an agenda and it isn't always fair. We all know we can't trust the media on anything, so why base an opinion on them?
Side note: When you run from a cop, what do you expect to happen? If you're innocent, stay where you are. If you're not, then yeah I wouldn't stick around. Nothing good ever comes from running from cops. Ever! So why do it?
In conclusion, I wish I had a solution for this broken trust. It used to be that parents told their kids if you're ever in trouble, look for a cop. Now it's stay away from them. I do see that there are some cops that are corrupt and have their own agendas. Some of them see all blacks as a person of interest and treat them as such even before asking them, "Where were you between 10pm and 1am?" However, I don't believe we should mistrust all of them based on those idiots. Same as not seeing all people with dark skin as people to look out for. It's not fair either way. The hashtags #blacklivesmatter and #backtheblue don't help matters. We should just all stand behind #alllivesmatter and not be one or the other.
The trust indeed is broken and it's up to all of us cops and public alike to mend it. If we don't, like Frank Reagan the PC said, "...neither side is safe."
The whole episode saddened me because of the truth behind not only his words, but also the use of force used by police and the reactions of the public toward them. Even though I didn't grow up in a violent neighborhood, I still feel the anger when a cop shoots what seems to be an unarmed perpetrator. Many times we never know the truth because the truth died with the person who fell onto the pavement. Sometimes we see what we want to see, instead of the whole picture.
In the incident with Perez, while he did have his hands up, a knife was still in his hand after being told to put it down several times. Not only that, but he walked towards the officer who had the gun out. While I think that killing the guy might have been excessive, in the moment there's no telling whether or not if I were in the officer's position that I would have had time to lower my gun in order to hit the perpetrator in the knee or somewhere else non-fatal. There's also no telling that the guy with the knife wouldn't have suddenly lunged at me. So, shooting the guy just might have been the best answer before finding out what could have happened if waited.
There's always more than one side to a story. I don't like the fact that we are distancing ourselves from cops. The way I was raised was to respect the office, the badge and the authority that these cops have. So when I hear the news about a cop shooting, I don't automatically get mad at either side. I research to see if I can find the whole story. Unfortunately, every news source has an agenda and it isn't always fair. We all know we can't trust the media on anything, so why base an opinion on them?
Side note: When you run from a cop, what do you expect to happen? If you're innocent, stay where you are. If you're not, then yeah I wouldn't stick around. Nothing good ever comes from running from cops. Ever! So why do it?
In conclusion, I wish I had a solution for this broken trust. It used to be that parents told their kids if you're ever in trouble, look for a cop. Now it's stay away from them. I do see that there are some cops that are corrupt and have their own agendas. Some of them see all blacks as a person of interest and treat them as such even before asking them, "Where were you between 10pm and 1am?" However, I don't believe we should mistrust all of them based on those idiots. Same as not seeing all people with dark skin as people to look out for. It's not fair either way. The hashtags #blacklivesmatter and #backtheblue don't help matters. We should just all stand behind #alllivesmatter and not be one or the other.
The trust indeed is broken and it's up to all of us cops and public alike to mend it. If we don't, like Frank Reagan the PC said, "...neither side is safe."
Wednesday, April 20, 2016
Supergirl FINALE
Like all finales, Supergirl ended with a thousand questions. Of course, that's exactly what the producers want. As a writer, I do love writing cliffhangers and filling my readers with suspense, but as a viewer/reader....not so much. Especially when it's the end of the book or season and you have to WAIT for what seems like an eternity to find out what comes next.
Aside from that, in this episode J'onn J'onzz tells Lucy that her father is only trying to do what it best. The scene is when General Lane wants to keep the Martian in handcuffs even though in the previous episode he helped save National City. Lucy felt that that wasn't right, as do I. How Lucy stood up to her dad about his choices made me smile. Sometimes it can be hard to stand our ground as adults especially when our parents feel differently about a decision.
When we are young, parents have a right to say no and we should obey them lest there be consequences later. As we grow older and we find our place in this world, while we should listen to our parents' advice we also must be able to stand on our own two feet. Sometimes that means we must do what we feel is right despite our parents choice.
All of this reminded me about how I feel about my parent's choices in how they raised me and the school system they put me through. I can honestly say in their own world regardless of how I felt or difficult circumstances I went through, they thought they were doing what was best. I wish things were different. There are people I wished I had never met and pain I never experienced, but the past is the past and there's nothing I can do about it except move on.
Most of this episode is about ending Myriad once and for all by giving the people of Earth hope that they can overcome this. We each need to have hope that whatever pain we are experiencing, we will get through it. I'm reminded of the song by Chris Tomlin, We Will Rise. Whether you believe in God the Father or not, there's more to life than what you see and those around you, especially family, are important. Hope keeps us from utter despair. Hope drives our hopelessness, which is exactly what happened to the people of National City and will happen to us.
I hope you've enjoyed this show as much as I have. If you haven't watched it, all episodes are available on cbs.com. Can't wait till season 2!
Aside from that, in this episode J'onn J'onzz tells Lucy that her father is only trying to do what it best. The scene is when General Lane wants to keep the Martian in handcuffs even though in the previous episode he helped save National City. Lucy felt that that wasn't right, as do I. How Lucy stood up to her dad about his choices made me smile. Sometimes it can be hard to stand our ground as adults especially when our parents feel differently about a decision.
When we are young, parents have a right to say no and we should obey them lest there be consequences later. As we grow older and we find our place in this world, while we should listen to our parents' advice we also must be able to stand on our own two feet. Sometimes that means we must do what we feel is right despite our parents choice.
All of this reminded me about how I feel about my parent's choices in how they raised me and the school system they put me through. I can honestly say in their own world regardless of how I felt or difficult circumstances I went through, they thought they were doing what was best. I wish things were different. There are people I wished I had never met and pain I never experienced, but the past is the past and there's nothing I can do about it except move on.
Most of this episode is about ending Myriad once and for all by giving the people of Earth hope that they can overcome this. We each need to have hope that whatever pain we are experiencing, we will get through it. I'm reminded of the song by Chris Tomlin, We Will Rise. Whether you believe in God the Father or not, there's more to life than what you see and those around you, especially family, are important. Hope keeps us from utter despair. Hope drives our hopelessness, which is exactly what happened to the people of National City and will happen to us.
I hope you've enjoyed this show as much as I have. If you haven't watched it, all episodes are available on cbs.com. Can't wait till season 2!
Wednesday, April 13, 2016
Hope > Fear
Cat Grant should run for president. I'm dead serious, she's a much better candidate than the ones in the 2016 election. Aside from my opinion on this, last night on Supergirl, Cat Grant said some profound words I hope I will always remember and take heed.
"We can't let fear drive our actions."
There are quite a few things I could name that I'm afraid of. One at the top of the list are bees. Followed by pitch darkness, empty houses and the future. My career is important to me and I don't ever want to give up on my dreams whether professional or personal. Sometimes fear cripples me to the point of not going after something I want. When I submit a story I feel proud of and/or shows raw emotion, I get that sick feeling in my stomach. I toss and turn over whether or not I should send that piece in. I end up doing it every time because I know that if published, I will be one step closer to my goal.
Fear is a common enemy we all have to fight everyday and no matter what, we can't let it clobber us. We have to push past the things we are afraid of and think positive.
If your attempt fails, try again. Don't let it stop you from trying.
:D
"Hope is stronger than fear." - Supergirl
"We can't let fear drive our actions."
There are quite a few things I could name that I'm afraid of. One at the top of the list are bees. Followed by pitch darkness, empty houses and the future. My career is important to me and I don't ever want to give up on my dreams whether professional or personal. Sometimes fear cripples me to the point of not going after something I want. When I submit a story I feel proud of and/or shows raw emotion, I get that sick feeling in my stomach. I toss and turn over whether or not I should send that piece in. I end up doing it every time because I know that if published, I will be one step closer to my goal.
Fear is a common enemy we all have to fight everyday and no matter what, we can't let it clobber us. We have to push past the things we are afraid of and think positive.
If your attempt fails, try again. Don't let it stop you from trying.
:D
"Hope is stronger than fear." - Supergirl
Tuesday, April 5, 2016
Action
I was watching a show called, Rosewood, last week and came across this piece of gold.
"A simple act can have the ramifications beyond one's comprehension."
This brought all sorts of memories, some good and some bad. For instance, when I decided to learn American Sign Language it bought so many opportunities I never knew existed. I made new friends and gained mentors I hope will always be in my life. At Ithaca College, I was able to become the Director of a sign language choir. Afterwards, I worked with an entrepreneur who's Deaf and needed someone who could help with her business's website and tutor a family. I also have had chances to sign songs with individuals at church. I love how my decision to learn this unique language has changed my life for the better in ways I can't describe.
On the flip side, making a judgment call that ended up being futile is something I wish I could go back and change. There was a time when I tried to have an intervention with a good friend of mine and unfortunately, I had trouble keeping calm. She and I don't talk like we used to and our friendship is slim to none at this point. I never knew we'd be at this point, not speaking. I remember the good times and the days when I could lean on her for support. Even if God grants me a chance for a do-over, I don't know if anything will have truly changed because I feel that she needed to hear what I said.
In both instances, a simple act did more than I imagined. We will always have regrets and many of us say we want to live a life without that but as a human being it's inevitable that we will make mistakes. The key is to grow from them and NOT repeat them.
Since my last attempt at a serious conversation/intervention with a friend I've been able to get a handle on my emotions, but often at the cost of my not being able to fully express what I feel I need. It's a work in progress like most things in life.
"A simple act can have the ramifications beyond one's comprehension."
This brought all sorts of memories, some good and some bad. For instance, when I decided to learn American Sign Language it bought so many opportunities I never knew existed. I made new friends and gained mentors I hope will always be in my life. At Ithaca College, I was able to become the Director of a sign language choir. Afterwards, I worked with an entrepreneur who's Deaf and needed someone who could help with her business's website and tutor a family. I also have had chances to sign songs with individuals at church. I love how my decision to learn this unique language has changed my life for the better in ways I can't describe.
On the flip side, making a judgment call that ended up being futile is something I wish I could go back and change. There was a time when I tried to have an intervention with a good friend of mine and unfortunately, I had trouble keeping calm. She and I don't talk like we used to and our friendship is slim to none at this point. I never knew we'd be at this point, not speaking. I remember the good times and the days when I could lean on her for support. Even if God grants me a chance for a do-over, I don't know if anything will have truly changed because I feel that she needed to hear what I said.
In both instances, a simple act did more than I imagined. We will always have regrets and many of us say we want to live a life without that but as a human being it's inevitable that we will make mistakes. The key is to grow from them and NOT repeat them.
Since my last attempt at a serious conversation/intervention with a friend I've been able to get a handle on my emotions, but often at the cost of my not being able to fully express what I feel I need. It's a work in progress like most things in life.
Saturday, March 26, 2016
Goal Driven
Have I mentioned how much I love this new show Supergirl? It's clean AND uplifting and filled with little gold mines of encouragement and lessons. Kind of reminds me of how The Cosby Show makes me feel. Instead of feeling disgusted or annoyed like many 21st century TV shows, I smile and genuinely laugh.
Which leads me to this nugget I found that Winn said to Siobhan when she was feeling mad at Kara for her end of employment at Catco Media. "Once you have a goal, no one is going to stop you from getting it." He also mentioned that powerful people have setbacks and that what all this is. It's not the end of the world, but rather a way to reflect and change course.
This conversation made me think about my own life. I have many personal and professional goals. One of which includes writing a NY Times Bestseller. I would love nothing more than to be in the ranks with my fellow favorite authors. Creating stories has always been a passion and I can't think of anything else that makes me happier. It's because of how I feel, that I refuse to give up. No matter how many times people tell me I'm not good enough for them to take a chance on me. Writers, artists, singers are probably the ones who get the highest number of rejections. The ones who go far and achieve their dreams are the ones who never give up. I want to be one of them.
Later, Kara says in her interview with Cat Grant, "I just want to be useful. To somebody. I want to be worthwhile." I've felt like that every time I send in a resume or write a synopsis to a publishing company. Sometimes I feel like God has shown me my purpose in life and then one bad call after another happens and I'm left feeling lost again. I feel so sure I know my place in this world. Every person on this planet, I believe, was given an invisible road map, but it only becomes visible if you trust God with the future. While we'd rather he'd show us the destination, we have to be patient (grrr, I know) in order to figure out which way to go.
However, side note, do not do what Siobhan attempted later in the episode. Going after what you want should include dignity and respect for those around and above you.
Which leads me to this nugget I found that Winn said to Siobhan when she was feeling mad at Kara for her end of employment at Catco Media. "Once you have a goal, no one is going to stop you from getting it." He also mentioned that powerful people have setbacks and that what all this is. It's not the end of the world, but rather a way to reflect and change course.
This conversation made me think about my own life. I have many personal and professional goals. One of which includes writing a NY Times Bestseller. I would love nothing more than to be in the ranks with my fellow favorite authors. Creating stories has always been a passion and I can't think of anything else that makes me happier. It's because of how I feel, that I refuse to give up. No matter how many times people tell me I'm not good enough for them to take a chance on me. Writers, artists, singers are probably the ones who get the highest number of rejections. The ones who go far and achieve their dreams are the ones who never give up. I want to be one of them.
Later, Kara says in her interview with Cat Grant, "I just want to be useful. To somebody. I want to be worthwhile." I've felt like that every time I send in a resume or write a synopsis to a publishing company. Sometimes I feel like God has shown me my purpose in life and then one bad call after another happens and I'm left feeling lost again. I feel so sure I know my place in this world. Every person on this planet, I believe, was given an invisible road map, but it only becomes visible if you trust God with the future. While we'd rather he'd show us the destination, we have to be patient (grrr, I know) in order to figure out which way to go.
However, side note, do not do what Siobhan attempted later in the episode. Going after what you want should include dignity and respect for those around and above you.
Thursday, March 17, 2016
More Than One Side
In this week's episode of Supergirl, a version of Kryptonite changed her demeanor to the point where she hurt others both strangers and those close to her with actions and harsh words. While her new outward personality held some truth, it wasn't right to bring others down.
This got me thinking as to how often we suppress our feelings in order to make someone else happy. In the movie 27 Dresses, Jane kept saying "Yes" to planning other people's weddings and rehearsal dinners, even if it meant up-heaving her own life. Sometimes we should say "No" or say what's truly on our minds but sometimes, it's better to just keep the peace. The hard part is figuring out the difference.
Another truth that came to mind during this episode is the fact that we have different sides to us. There are times when our not so good side comes out. It's human and I'll always appreciate the fact that the friends I still have continue to love me despite those times. Stress eats us up or fear tears us down. It's those who never stop believing in us or stop being in our lives that makes all the difference. Supergirl has that support system, which helped her get back to her normal self.
I felt that it was truly unfair for Cat to tell the world that Supergirl couldn't be trusted. On one hand I can understand that because she's National City's hero and the public needed to know she's unstable, but at the same time I felt that the message she sent on TV was a bit harsh. Everyone has bad days as Cat pointed out, but as a hero Supergirl has to be on her "A" game all the time. In our reality, we treat our presidents and official leaders this way. They are supposed to be perfect, be all knowing and help everyone see justice, yet they are still human. Sometimes they fail. Sometimes they say things they shouldn't. Should that be a reason why we discredit them? Should that be a reason for pushing for impeachment? No. I've been in a position of leadership and there are moments I wish I could go back and re-word a sentence or speak up instead of being silent. It's hard to be in charge. It comes with so much pressure. I wish everyone could understand/acknowledge that and be more mindful of who we are inside. A person who will make mistakes.
Supergirl has done a lot to the help the people of National City and I hope she will be able to win back their trust as the show goes on. I absolutely love the fact that Cat is again on her side.
This got me thinking as to how often we suppress our feelings in order to make someone else happy. In the movie 27 Dresses, Jane kept saying "Yes" to planning other people's weddings and rehearsal dinners, even if it meant up-heaving her own life. Sometimes we should say "No" or say what's truly on our minds but sometimes, it's better to just keep the peace. The hard part is figuring out the difference.
Another truth that came to mind during this episode is the fact that we have different sides to us. There are times when our not so good side comes out. It's human and I'll always appreciate the fact that the friends I still have continue to love me despite those times. Stress eats us up or fear tears us down. It's those who never stop believing in us or stop being in our lives that makes all the difference. Supergirl has that support system, which helped her get back to her normal self.
I felt that it was truly unfair for Cat to tell the world that Supergirl couldn't be trusted. On one hand I can understand that because she's National City's hero and the public needed to know she's unstable, but at the same time I felt that the message she sent on TV was a bit harsh. Everyone has bad days as Cat pointed out, but as a hero Supergirl has to be on her "A" game all the time. In our reality, we treat our presidents and official leaders this way. They are supposed to be perfect, be all knowing and help everyone see justice, yet they are still human. Sometimes they fail. Sometimes they say things they shouldn't. Should that be a reason why we discredit them? Should that be a reason for pushing for impeachment? No. I've been in a position of leadership and there are moments I wish I could go back and re-word a sentence or speak up instead of being silent. It's hard to be in charge. It comes with so much pressure. I wish everyone could understand/acknowledge that and be more mindful of who we are inside. A person who will make mistakes.
Supergirl has done a lot to the help the people of National City and I hope she will be able to win back their trust as the show goes on. I absolutely love the fact that Cat is again on her side.
Wednesday, March 2, 2016
People Want to Care
In this week's Supergirl episode Siobhan, the new assistant to Cat, shares a story about her father cheating on her mother. Unfortunately, she saw him being unfaithful with his assistant one day. He said he was sorry but he really wasn't for he didn't stop hurting his daughter.
The previous episode revealed her as a mean girl from the start. This conversation she had with Winn told us that there was more to her than what she chose to expose. It got me thinking about those I know who have chosen to hide behind a mask. Most of them were in high school and I never became friends with them because I didn't want to be around their toxicity. Who knows why they were mean to everyone or behaved the way they did. Maybe they had a harsh childhood. Maybe their parents were mean to them. Regardless of the reason behind their masks, there is no right reason to be mean to others. However, if we all gave people the benefit of the doubt first rather than ignoring them, maybe things would be different.
Looking at myself growing up, I tried to hide who I truly was because I was tired of being rejected. I always wanted to be someone else instead of who I was created to be. I walked around hiding who I really was and my opinions because I thought no one cared to know the real me. The people who truly did, pre-college especially, are the ones I will never forget. It was while in college that I realized that being different isn't a bad thing and having a sad past doesn't define me. Letting people in and letting them care was hard, but worth it. Now, I have people I can count on and share my true feelings with and I wouldn't trade those relationships for a billion dollars.
By the end of the episode, Winn shares his story and surprisingly Siobhan kisses him. Did she really understand what he was trying to tell her about people wanting to care if she let them....who knows. The point is that Winn tried to show that truth to her. Not everyone is out there to break hearts and create havoc. We were created to crave human interaction and love. We need that to survive.
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The previous episode revealed her as a mean girl from the start. This conversation she had with Winn told us that there was more to her than what she chose to expose. It got me thinking about those I know who have chosen to hide behind a mask. Most of them were in high school and I never became friends with them because I didn't want to be around their toxicity. Who knows why they were mean to everyone or behaved the way they did. Maybe they had a harsh childhood. Maybe their parents were mean to them. Regardless of the reason behind their masks, there is no right reason to be mean to others. However, if we all gave people the benefit of the doubt first rather than ignoring them, maybe things would be different.
Looking at myself growing up, I tried to hide who I truly was because I was tired of being rejected. I always wanted to be someone else instead of who I was created to be. I walked around hiding who I really was and my opinions because I thought no one cared to know the real me. The people who truly did, pre-college especially, are the ones I will never forget. It was while in college that I realized that being different isn't a bad thing and having a sad past doesn't define me. Letting people in and letting them care was hard, but worth it. Now, I have people I can count on and share my true feelings with and I wouldn't trade those relationships for a billion dollars.
By the end of the episode, Winn shares his story and surprisingly Siobhan kisses him. Did she really understand what he was trying to tell her about people wanting to care if she let them....who knows. The point is that Winn tried to show that truth to her. Not everyone is out there to break hearts and create havoc. We were created to crave human interaction and love. We need that to survive.
<3 in="" let="" p="" people="">
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