Last week's episode of NCIS hit me right in the feels. Not many shows/movies make me cry in a good way. I have to say that this one, Keep Going, really got me thinking about my failures, the way I look at myself as well as the ups and downs I've been through in life.
Ryan, a son of a Naval Captain, stands on a ledge ready to jump when Mr. Palmer, the M.E. Assistant runs up to stop him without thinking twice about his own safety. He doesn't tell his team what he sees, just runs up to the top floor of the building and grabs Ryan by the belt. The young boy tries several times to get Mr. Palmer to let go but he refuses. My heart practically stopped several times. Just seeing the firemen, police and ambulances through their eyes was horrifying. (I don't often admit I'm deathly scared of heights).
While trying to talk Ryan out of jumping, the conversation made me think about what I went through several times over the last ten years. There have been plenty of times when I compared myself to social media. Mr. Palmer was right when he said that people only show their highlights. They don't show their bad days. So many times I've scrolled through Instagram and seen people's vacations and pictures with friends when I didn't have any. For so long, I had no highlights I wanted to share.
Another phrase that stuck with me, Ducky said, "If you're going through hell, keep going." Life isn't a bed of roses all the time. Not for the President, not for my parents, not for my friends -- certainly not for me. We should "opt for happiness," as Mr. Palmer mentioned to Ryan. I want to be happy. Do you? Sure, there are times when life gets us down but that shouldn't t be a reason to give up. I've wanted several times, believe me, but I've come to realize that when a door closes another one opens. A great number of doors have closed just in the past two years and I still refuse to give up on my dreams. Mr. Palmer never gave up on his. He wanted to become a doctor and he did! He failed the test twice, but he succeeded on his third try.
I'm still shaking my head in disbelief that Mr. Palmer saved Ryan's life. I have no idea if I would ever have the guts to go out on a ledge twelve stories high. That night, I think both of them learned something. I know I did.
Life is precious, don't waste it. Strive to be the best person you can be. If you want good friends, first be a good friend. Love is shown all sorts of ways -- just might not be what we expect. Blaming yourself for everything that goes bad only creates loneliness. Last but not least, don't quit. :)
