Lying to people I don't know very well, that's easy. Lying to people I know care about my life is extremely depressing. I don't want them to know the truth; the raw grief inside. It's killing me, but I'd rather hide it than leave it exposed.
I can laugh even though I feel like crying. I force myself to be social even when I'd rather bury myself into my pillow.
Talking about the pain doesn't lessen it; it just forces me to relive it. No matter how many times I try to explain why I am upset, it doesn't get me anywhere. No one knows what I'm feeling.
Praying doesn't seem to help either. He doesn't seem to be listening or even care. Remembering that He doesn't forsake His children, doesn't put a smile on my face. What are You doing?
Those who know me can tell I'm not myself. My eyes tell them I'm not happy, but I don't want to voice why.
Sad Eyes, go away. Be happy again.
